VERY VERY STRONG EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM.

Actually I always feel panicked, anxious , depression, very low moods,very high moodsto a very very high intensity on daily basis to a level that I have became my second nature and I do feel crying, irritated, agitated, scared Everytime be it socially or at home. I don't know I want someone to just touch me,hug me take care of me as I never received that since a child. It was a feeling since I was 12 years but now it has grown so strong and voracious SUBCONSCIOUSLY that I am having physically affected like there is always pukish feeling and headache and heart clutching feeling that I feel to suicide Everytime and I feel no hope , I am diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, panic attacks and social anxiety earlier but treatment couldn't help me to satisfactory outcomes. I am tired of this strong feeling makes me so panicked and anxious everyday that it's difficult to breathe and I won't be able to make it as I lost my self respect in myself and  hating myself , I hate everything😥