Mental health. Want to bother my family.

Its been almost 2 years now. I am having really extreme mood swings. I used to be angry all the time and caused trouble for others unintentionally. But now I don't know how but I started cutting my self (4 months). I feel insecure everytime. I am nervous and depressed most of the time. And now I have started avoiding people because I hurt the people who are my friends. I constantly fear that everyone might leave me. I sleep too much or I can't. I lost around 6 kgs in a month. I am tired most of the times but sometimes there is a sudden surge in energy and I would run and jump here and there. Its getting difficult for me to concentrate in my life. I feel suicidal and recently I started drinking alcohol. It's been a concern for me because I really can't remember any situation which led to all this. My impulses are really bad and I know I need help but I don't know how to begin. There's no one for me to talk to and I don't want to bother my family.