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Fear, Anxiety and Depp Loneliness
Hello Sir/Ma'am,
I am now 20 years. Now I am going through very bad condition in deep within. Everyday is passing through playing online addictive games, temporary pleasures. I do very bad in my education due to relationship problems in teenage. Suicidal thoughts also came but I managed that. Those times affected me and my education because I didn't know how to handle big problems. I lie about my college education to my family still now I can't tell them what was going through me. I am escaping from the reality and my family about my study, college education. Now I am doing nothing, I don't study, don't learn new things. I am only wasting my time. I don't understand what I will do now. I have stucked and stopped growing . I always stay in Low confidence,fear zone. When fear anxiety comes I can't handle it because I always avoid it since 1 year and more. I have stucked in a pain pleasure loop. My mother tongue is Bengali. I can understand Hindi(can speak but not fluent), English both.
Answers (16)
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This is a fairly common issue among young adults today. During the early stages of building a career, many people are not completely sure about their goals and may become distracted by relationships or other emotional concerns, which can sometimes affect their studies and overall progress.
However, it is important to remember that you are only 20 years old, and you have a long future ahead of you. At this stage, your priority should be to develop a clear plan for your career. You can do this by discussing your options with your parents, trusted mentors, or a career counsellor.
Regarding the dopamine-driven cycle you described, it is important to gradually replace unhelpful habits with meaningful activities. Consider spending time outdoors, going to the gym regularly, pursuing hobbies, meeting friends or cousins, and engaging in activities that provide a sense of purpose and achievement.
Breaking this cycle will take time and consistent effort. While therapists, family members, and other professionals can provide guidance and support, lasting change ultimately depends on your willingness to take small steps towards recovery. The key to your progress lies in your own actions, and with persistence, positive change is absolutely possible.
Next Steps
Start doing something productive, no matter how small it is.
Health Tips
Reduce your screen time, go out and take the help of a qualified Therapist.
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Consultation with me is advised
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Hi,
Thank you for sharing your feelings. Itâs important to remember that you are not alone, and help is available. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can support you through these difficult emotions and help you heal. Talking honestly with someone you trust, like a counselor or a close family member, can also bring relief. Focus on small, positive stepsâlike gradually reducing gaming, practicing self-care, and rebuilding confidence. Remember, itâs never too late to start again and improve your life. Seeking help is a brave and strong first step.
Next Steps
Consult
Health Tips
seek help
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It seems that you are undergoing a lot of psychological changes. It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated and can affect your personal and social life.
It needs to be treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Hello There,
I’m so sorry to hear about what you have been going through. Please do consult any Counselling Psychologist who can help guide you in dealing with this situation and gradually you’ll overcome your fears, anxiety and also get better in your education too. So I suggest do take Therapy either face to face or online immediately.
Next Steps
If you’re still having suicidal thoughts please let your trusted friend and family members know about it so that they can take care of you. Also immediately contact suicide prevention local helpline of the city you live in, which you can find from google search. And please do start taking therapy for your emotional struggles
Health Tips
Stay in touch with family and good friends who can cheer you up in your hard days!
Regards,
Farheen Hussain.
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Hi, Consult a psychiatrist
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Hello.
First, I want to say something very clearly to you:
You are not a failure.
You are a young man who has been emotionally overwhelmed for a long time and started surviving through avoidance.
That “pain-pleasure loop” you mentioned is actually very important insight. It shows you already understand what is happening inside you. Right now, your mind has become trained like this:
Pain/anxiety/fear → escape into games or temporary pleasure → temporary relief → guilt/shame → more fear → more escape.
This cycle slowly damages confidence because every day the person starts feeling:
“I am not in control of my own life.” emotionally you are a person who got stuck after difficult experiences and never received proper emotional support or guidance.
Teenage relationship pain can affect studies deeply especially if someone is emotionally sensitive and has nobody teaching them how to process heartbreak, rejection, anxiety, or failure. Many young people collapse internally after emotional stress and then begin hiding everything because of fear, guilt, or disappointing family.
For now, focus less on “fixing your whole life” and more on rebuilding movement.
For example:
* wake up at a consistent time,
* reduce gaming gradually instead of extreme quitting,
* sit with discomfort for small periods instead of escaping immediately,
* walk outside daily,
* start studying for even 20–30 minutes,
* keep one promise to yourself every day,
* stop comparing yourself to others.
Next Steps
Consultation with me for further evaluation ans counselling
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You are playing and spoiling your own life.
ASAP consult counselor and seek help. Contacting Psychologist will not help if you are not determined and have firm decision to correct ..
We can show way ..Walking is by clients.
Seems you have poor controls and environment which never questioned your life.
Dr. Dharmendra Solanki, PhD.
Counseling Psychologist
Next Steps
connect to psychologist
Health Tips
strong determination and willpower to correct self is MUST
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Connect online counselling session through practo so we can help you how to dela with your inner instincts as you realise you doing bad in your life so the path clear and you need some tricks to with this situation connect and get back to your healthy life
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You are not “finished” or “wasting your life,” you are a 20 year old who got stuck in an avoidance loop after emotional pain and now your brain has learned to escape stress through games, distraction and temporary comfort. The good news is that loops can be broken. Honestly, the fact that you are able to describe your situation this clearly means one part of you has already decided it wants change. That part matters.
Right now, don’t focus on “fixing your whole life.” Your brain will immediately open 47 tabs and crash again. Start very small. One honest conversation with a psychologist. One structured routine. One hour a day for studies or skill building. Consistency heals confidence more than motivation does.
And please don’t carry the suicidal thoughts alone, even if they were in the past. You deserve proper support, not silent suffering with WiFi and guilt. You are not behind in life as much as your anxious mind keeps telling you.
Reach out to helpline numbers in case of extreme thoughts.
Next Steps
Consult
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Hi i am Dr.kusum Vijay your problem is serious but curable
My research based on suicidal thoughts I can do for better treatment like CBT and art therapy and other mental health services you can book appointment I will try to solve your problem
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Hey
Thanks for reaching out
You are not weak or useless. You got emotionally overwhelmed at a young age and slowly started escaping from pain because you did not know how to handle it. Gaming, avoiding studies, lying to family, temporary pleasure all became ways to avoid fear and guilt for some time. But avoidance always grows bigger with time, and now your mind feels trapped.
At 20, life is not over. Your problem is not lack of intelligence, it is lack of emotional stability and confidence after years of avoidance. Don’t try to change everything in one day. Start very small. Reduce gaming slowly, keep fixed sleeping and waking time, study even for 20 minutes daily, move your body, sit with discomfort instead of escaping immediately. Confidence does not come first. Action comes first, then confidence slowly follows. And stop comparing yourself with others because that only increases shame and paralysis. You need support, structure and gradual exposure to reality, not self hatred. Therapy can genuinely help you break this fear and escape cycle. Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Simply wind down by take one thing at a time. Try to notice your body sensations and tell yourself that it is ok to feel this way. Gradually u will realise that u have control over situations.
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You have been stuck in a pain and pleasure loop for a long time, so your brain needs structure, not pressure.
Use a reward system:
Tell yourself: After 50 minutes of real effort, I am allowed to enjoy games or entertainment without guilt.
Also, 50 minutes is smarter than 1 hour. The brain often reacts to “1 hour” as heavy and exhausting, while “50 minutes” feels shorter and more achievable.
You can absolutely divide it ritualistically:
* 20 minutes of audio/video learning (your brain will be more receptive to this as you are hooked to gadgets.)
* 30 minutes writing notes or summarizing what you learned, this is non negotiable.
This creates focus, movement, and active learning together.
And for guilt, shame, overthinking, avoidance, and emotional pain, please meet a psychologist and start therapy. These patterns become easier to heal when you process them with professional support instead of carrying them alone.
Next Steps
Practice this small step to crack the cycle of self perceived redundancy and meet a psychologist.
Health Tips
This is a small step to gather yourself, not therapy, this small step should pave the path for your bigger goal to discover and take hold of yourself. Best luck
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Connect with psychologist to resolve inner conflicts
Next Steps
connect
Health Tips
consult
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Ms. Pooja Bhargava
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Delhi
You have spent a long time escaping reality because reality felt emotionally overwhelming. Behind the gaming, avoidance and fear there seems to be a person who feels deeply and wants a different life. Your life is not stuck permanently - with support, and small consistent steps, recovery in confidence, studies and emotional health is absolutely possible
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.