Hi Ma'am / Sir,
I'm Amiya, 20 yrs old boy. I am suffering from psychological fear since 10 months or more, can't take dicision where to go in career.
I can't talk to my family about my career.
Due to some reasons in past, I lie my family about my education, still now I can't share about my past and for that I can't move forward. I have understood that I am in loop.
When overthinking, fear, anxiety come, my mind simply distracts on pleasure, social media for temporary relief. Now I can't study, i have low confidence, fear, anxiety. I have lost my interest, curiosity, confidence.
I want help to get clarity about career.
How can I get back my confidence, interest, curiousity?
– Amiya.
Answers (13)
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Hi,
consider seeking support from a mental health professional for your anxiety and fear. Focus on small, manageable steps toward exploring your interests and strengths. Practice self-compassion, avoid overthinking, and try activities that bring you joy. Gradually build confidence by setting achievable goals and being honest with yourself. Remember, help is available, and taking the first step is important.
Hi Amiya,
Sabse pehle, jo aap feel kar rahe hain — fear, anxiety, confusion, guilt — yeh sab connected hain. Yeh sirf “career problem” nahi hai, yeh fear + avoidance cycle ban gaya hai. Jab mind guilt ya darr feel karta hai, toh woh difficult cheezon (jaise study, decisions) se bachne ke liye distraction (social media, pleasure) choose karta hai. Temporary relief milta hai, lekin long-term mein confidence aur low ho jata hai — aur yahi loop chal raha hai.
Good thing yeh hai: yeh reversible hai.
Aap kya kar sakte hain:
1. Clarity ke bina bhi start karein
Aapko perfect career clarity ki zarurat nahi hai start karne ke liye.
Roz sirf 20–30 minutes kisi ek area par kaam karein (study / skill / exploration). Action clarity create karta hai, clarity action se nahi aati.
2. “Loop break” strategy use karein
Jab overthinking aaye:
5 minute ke liye deep breathing / walk
Uske baad turant ek chhota task (jaise 2 pages padhna)
Isse brain ko signal milega ki aap avoid nahi kar rahe.
3. Guilt ko address karein (ignore nahi)
Aapne jo past mein family se hide kiya hai, wahi aapko mentally rok raha hai.
Aapko sab ek baar mein confess karna zaroori nahi, lekin kisi trusted person ya counselor ke saath share karna start karein. Jab tak yeh andar rahega, anxiety repeat hoti rahegi.
4. Confidence ka real formula
Confidence sochne se nahi, consistent small wins se aata hai.
Daily small targets complete karna start karein — chahe mood ho ya na ho.
5. Social media control
Completely band karna zaroori nahi, lekin:
Fixed time rakhein (30 mins/day)
Study ke time phone door rakhein
6. Professional help consider karein
10 months se yeh chal raha hai, toh ek counselling session lena helpful hoga. Aapko structure aur accountability milegi.
Sabse important baat:
Aap stuck nahi hain — aap bas ek pattern mein phase hue hain. Aur patterns change kiye ja sakte hain.
Start small. Stay consistent. Clarity aur confidence automatically aayega.
Hi
Amiya, this is not really a career problem, it’s a fear and avoidance problem. Because of guilt about your past, your mind is trying to escape through distraction, and that is reducing your confidence and focus.
You don’t need full clarity to start. Take one small step daily, even 20–30 minutes of study or exploring any career option. Confidence and interest will come after action, not before.
Write your situation honestly on paper so you stop running from it. Limit social media because right now it is only giving temporary relief and increasing anxiety later.
Pick 2–3 career options and start exploring them practically instead of overthinking. Clarity comes from doing.
You are not stuck, you are just avoiding. Once you start taking small steps, your confidence and curiosity will slowly come back.
Dear Amiya, it’s clear you’re feeling stuck in fear and overthinking, which is draining your confidence and focus. Recognising the loop is already a strong first step. Now start small and go one day at a time.
Next Steps
Set simple routines, limit distractions like social media, and take one step at a time toward exploring career options.
Health Tips
Confidence and curiosity can return gradually when you focus on steady, manageable actions instead of the whole picture at once.
When fear and anxiety become your main response to stress it makes sense that your curiosity and confidence have taken a backseat, but these can be reclaimed by addressing the root of that guilt
Next Steps
Working with a psychologist would provide you with a safe space to process your past, break this cycle and slowly regain confidence
You need a trusted person to share things with and get the guidance from. At your age, you will benefit well from the advice of a person with different experience and perspective. Don’t keep your worries bottled within you. If not family, confide in a trusted friend, a teacher, any relative.
Next Steps
Confide in a trustworthy person apart from your family
Hi Amiya,
Thank you for sharing this so openly. What you’re going through sounds very overwhelming, but it is also something that can be worked through with the right support.
From what you’ve described, a few patterns are visible:
• Ongoing overthinking and anxiety, especially around career decisions
• Feeling stuck in a loop due to past experiences and avoidance
• Low confidence and loss of interest, which often come from prolonged stress
• Using distractions (like social media) for temporary relief, which maintains the cycle
First, it’s important to understand this:
You are not “lacking ability” you are currently overloaded mentally, which is affecting your clarity and confidence.
Regarding your career confusion:
Clarity doesn’t come when the mind is anxious. It comes when the mind is calmer. So the first step is not choosing a career, but reducing anxiety and breaking the loop.
Next Steps
What can help:
• Working on overthinking patterns using structured techniques (CBT-based)
• Building small, achievable actions to restore confidence gradually
• Reducing avoidance and distraction cycles
• Exploring your interests step-by-step instead of expecting instant clarity
• Addressing the discomfort around your past in a safe, guided way
You don’t have to solve everything at once.
Start with stabilizing your thoughts and routine clarity will follow.
Since this has been going on for many months and is affecting your functioning, I would strongly recommend starting therapy with a psychologist. A structured approach can help you regain confidence, direction, and control over your thoughts.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
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