Severe depression. Family and in life.

I have been suffering from depression since childhood increasing only recently by stress from job, emotional isolation, parents' expectations and being put down by a lot of people, failing to read the so-called "signs" of life and being emotionally disconnected from everything that is happening around me which included missing my paternal uncle's funeral. What really snapped is when I missed his funeral and I was blamed and made to feel even more lonely and depressed in spite of not having interacted with him for most of my adult life and having being told by my mother and her sister especially that he didn't care about me which in fact was true. He didn't inquire when I was sick and pretty much didn't care about my existence except for a few times when I had lunch at his place because my mother bailed on my father and I for a few days. He really didn't care about me and now I have been blamed for not showing respect for attending his funeral. I've lost faith in my family and in life.