Mental stress. I don't know what to do.

Cry, scream, Be negative, jealous,Envious as much as you can......Dont stop yourself. When individualization occurred in man or when the ''I'' was born, simultaneously the ''You'' was born. And I will always be up against you. So you are bound to get jealous! Your struggle to confirm to an ideal state of non-jealousy is the burning issue here. Jealousy is your reality now, do not split yourself into two by pursuing a non-jealous state which is a fiction!! Positivism is nothing but negativism suppressed. Try practical solutions to your problems , you have other options of having a baby if you are not fixated towards one!! Take a counseling session if you must but DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF OR FEEL GUILTY, THAT IS THE WORST YOU CAN DO