Depression. Come out of that situation!

My parents are divorced i didn't get any care or love from my parents my Grand parents grown up me, because of my dad my Mom's family also don't lik me except my grand ma na grand pa even though i always feel alone and iam always being harsh with everyone and thinking about my future and worried and iam always forced by someone to take my decisions even though i don't like do that thing and iam not interested in my studies which iam studying now... every thing around me going opposite to my wish and my likes i don't like to do so but i can't even reject them iam feeling so helpless and lonely and i also committed suicide two times iam loosing all my hopes, and crying all the time, i don't want to be like that what should i do come out of that situation