Depression, Anxiety. Feeling suicidal!

My mom died few months after my birth.I used to live at my grandmother's home. Nobody told me the truth.My grandfather gave me his name.But I knew it from childhood.During teen years used to feel lonely, was anxious due to family fights. But was a very bright used to vomit due to anxiety for 5 years till age 18. Despite all odds, got into state's leading institute.But situation got worse when I moved to a new city.Anxiety increased.Got severely depressed,undereating, overeating phases, lost wt, always lost in thoughts, sleepy all the time, absent minded,forgetful as I was not able to cope up with stress. Tried remedies such as some physical activity, involving with people.Proved good for sometime. But couldn't sustain.Finally went to psychiatrist,he told me that there are chances of bipolar,took medication for some months.But as nobody knew it, lack of motivation.Thought of sharing with family members.They overreacted.Told me to stop. Told me my past. Its fruitless now.Feeling suicidal