Depressed. And anxiety. And cared 4 him.

Met in clg. relation till 6 mnths.he had financial issues, i ignored thinking we shouldnot jude. I didnt like him in the beginning becz he used to paas weired, cheap jokes but was caring. But I remained friend with him because he was caring. He even used to smoke and drink a lot. Which I ignored during frinship thinking every1 is like this ).Things changed in the relation. He was good and caring ,I repercted him for that. But his stupid jokes and his smoke ,drink affected me.he wanted to marry me. i didnt coz of his habits(he clamied in frnt of evry1 he loved me and can leave smoking but couldnt for just 1 month) I decided to leave him after 1 month but cudnt because of his depression and anger if i rejceted him. so i started acting like i was busy, fought every other day so he would leave me finally. he couldn't so i did. now i have anxiety that some1 will do me same.i didnt love him but respected and cared 4 him.