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Stress due to Sexual Orientation
Hi, I belong to a very conservative tamil family where the daughter has to get married before the age of 22. I am closeted lesbian and have known about this since 13yr . I have not come out to any one. My family is pressuring me to get married and for me rejecting the marriage proposals has become very stressful because I don't have valid reasons for rejecting. I have my own inner turmoil of trying to suppress my feelings and mingle with the people at workplace. Adding to that is my family pressures. Sometimes I feel like commiting suicide and end all this pain because anyway am never going to find someone I can love and will end up alone for sure. Telling the truth to my family will only cause more harm to me and to their respect. I have already harmed myself many times when I feel helpless and unable to control my emotions. Am very successful professionally but my personal life is a failure. Is there any way I can solve all this without causing any emotional harm to people around me?
Answers (2)
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Hello,
Yes you can solve this. But the only way possible is by coming out. I know it looks like the worst thing to do, but you are assuming your parents won't understand or it will tarnish their reputation. But, what if they support you?
Yes it will create a tension in the house, but its a battle you can fight. I know you care for your family but eventually, they want you to be happy. So there is a chance that if you talk to them explain them how this isn't a problem but who you are, they will understand. And i'm sure you're brave enough to talk to them about this.
Please do not self-harm. It is not worth it. What if your parents approve of who you are? What if you meet someone who loves you for who you are? Just because you are scared right now, you'l miss the chance of a lovely future. And that is certainly not worth it.
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Please taken help from a counsellor in your city or online or here on practo. They will be able to help you each step of the way.
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The sooner you get some professional help the better.
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Ms. Wamika Agarwal
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Pune
You could do as suggested above or else you could try to go to work in another city, and buy yourself more time.
Family counseling will be helpful for coming out.
Listen to affirmations by Louise Hay regularly it will help you feel a little better, but for resolving your issues, family counseling is highly recommended.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.