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Sexual distinction
I got married 1half year and my husband is not interested in love making to me ever since we got married, his only interest during my ovulation for a child and our last sex i sighted him viewing a lady fingering her self in his phone when we are making love but I acted fine and not seeing it cause I don't want to ruined that moment, am sad depressed and overwhelmed about the whole thing , what will I do and just feeling death inside, what could be the problem how do I handle it
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I understand how hurt and uncomfortable you must be feeling—your emotions are completely valid.
Your husband’s behavior shows lack of emotional and sexual connection, and watching such content during intimacy is not appropriate. This needs to be addressed.
Try to have a calm and honest conversation with him about your feelings and expectations. Intimacy is not only about having a child, but also about respect and emotional bonding.
If things don’t improve, consider couple counselling. You deserve to feel valued and respected in your relationship.
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Both needs to seek post marital counseling sessions to overcome psychological and sexual issues.
You need an expert counseling psychologist.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Consult psychotherapist
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What you’re carrying right now is genuinely painful — feeling invisible to your husband except when it serves his agenda, witnessing something hurtful and having to suppress your reaction in that moment, and then sitting alone with all of it. That takes a quiet kind of courage, and also a quiet kind of toll.
From an IFS perspective, what you’re experiencing makes complete sense. There are likely several parts of you active right now — a part that is deeply hurt and grieving the intimacy you hoped for in this marriage, a part that is angry at being treated as an instrument rather than a partner, and possibly a part that is working very hard to keep the peace and not rock the boat — which is why you “acted fine” in that moment.
That last part — the one suppressing and managing — has been protecting you. But over time, when we silence our hurt parts to keep things smooth, we begin to feel exactly what you described: dead inside.
The sadness and depression you feel are not signs of weakness. They are signs that a core part of you knows something important is being unmet — your need to be desired, seen, and valued as a whole person in your marriage.
Next Steps
This situation has two layers that both need attention — your internal experience and the relationship dynamic itself. Individual therapy can help you reconnect with your own needs and feelings safely. Couples therapy can create a structured, honest space to surface what’s not being said between you and your husband.
Please don’t sit with this alone.
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Avoid confronting your husband impulsively in a moment of high emotion — it rarely leads to the conversation you actually need. At the same time, continuing to suppress and “act fine” will deepen the disconnection you’re already feeling. A therapist can help you prepare for that conversation in a way that actually reaches him.
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Hi, Instead of keeping everything in mind,talk to him to find out what is going on with him.
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Consult a psychologist for professional help
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Hi
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hi
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hi
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Your feelings are normal because anybody will feel the same when there is dissatisfaction in the relationship as a whole.
Primarily I will suggest you to consult a psychologist, and eventually both of you will need this. If there is too much overwhelming or suicidal thoughts, please talk to anyone who is close to you, rush to nearby hospital or call the emergency number.
Remember this is not your fault, you are a victim of a situation.
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Hi
It sounds deeply painful to feel unwanted and emotionally disconnected in your marriage, especially when intimacy is limited and feels purposeful only for conception. What you saw on his phone likely intensified feelings of rejection, confusion, and hurt, and it makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and emotionally low. But before assuming something is wrong with you, it’s important to understand that this situation may reflect issues on his side such as performance anxiety, avoidance, possible dependency on pornography, or difficulty with emotional intimacy, rather than your worth or desirability. Suppressing your feelings to “not ruin the moment” may have protected that instance, but it is building emotional distance within you.
What is important now is to gently but clearly open a conversation with him about how this is affecting you, focusing on your feelings rather than blaming him. At the same time, we need to support you in processing the hurt, rebuilding your sense of self-worth, and understanding what you need from this relationship beyond just physical intimacy. If he is open, couple therapy can help uncover the root of this pattern, and if not, individual therapy will help you gain clarity, strength, and direction in how to handle this relationship going forward. You don’t have to carry this silence and pain alone. Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Mr. Sandeep Kumar
Psychologist
15 yrs exp
Chandigarh
Dear concerned,
It is deeply painful to feel reduced to a functional role and ignored emotionally; I recommend facilitating an honest dialogue focused on sexual intimacy and checking for underlying issues like porn addiction or performance anxiety.
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Ms. Pooja Gupta
Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
I'm truly sorry you're feeling this way. It's important to communicate openly with your husband about your feelings and concerns, as there may be underlying issues affecting his behavior and interest. Consider seeking support from a counselor or marriage therapist who can help both of you address these challenges and improve your relationship. Remember, you're not alone, and reaching out for emotional support from trusted friends or mental health professionals can help you cope with these overwhelming feelings. Your well-being matters, so prioritize taking care of yourself and seeking guidance.
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consult
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seek help
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Ms. Pooja Bhargava
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Delhi
Your feelings are valid - your needs for emotional and physical intimacy aren’t being met. Consider reaching out to a psychologist for individual support to process this as well as couples counselling to rebuild the connection
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Consult a psychologist
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... This needs to be carefully examined and understood in a therapeutic setting. Did you tried to talk to him about it? Is it that he is not interested in sex or his sexual preferences are different from yours? Lot of couples loose interest in sex overtime due to various reasons, like stress, lack of emotional/ mental connect, monotony/boredom, difference in likings/desires, etc. But with proper intervention their personal and sexual life does improves over a period of time. You need to first figure out his reasons for not feeling interested and why he didn't communicated it in the beginning of your relationship or before your marriage. If you feel this may solicit a defensive response from him or may create a confrontation between you both, than it's best to dicuss first with a Therapist/ Psychologist and than decide how to go about it.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Psycho-sexual Guidance and Marital Counselling is required.
Couple Therapy or Individual Therapy will be effective .
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Connect with psychiatrist
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connect
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consult
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