Self-esteem. To gather people together.

I noticed this problem start effects my life , job, well-being, everything in my life since 2011 . It was one of the reason to loss my job. My problem un intentionally wether I'm taking to a lady or man I start looking at the chest area. If course if it's a lady I'll make her uncomfortable. And for me I feel embarrassed and loss concentration. My old job start aroma that I'm lesbian. Which made it definitely more embarrassment for me . Which I'm not and I'm not against any sexuality. But I been trapped in my house for the last 4 year's. I only deal with my immediate family. Because my habit that's what I call it now very noticeable and bother me a lot. Where I don't like to visit any one ,my mom, sisters, brothers, friends. When I get invited to family Gathering. My heart start racing thinking it's like heavy weight in my shoulder that I become more and more isolated. Which I used to be totally the opposite to gather people together. Thank you.