Download FREE Practo app
Get ₹200 HealthCash
Seeking Help for Emotional Control emoti
Self-Harm Urges
Hello Doctor, I am writing to seek help for my emotional control and self-harm behavior. I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years, and I also know my partner’s family well. He is my most trusted person. However, I am facing intense anger and emotional distress, especially during small arguments with my boyfriend. Sometimes he scolds me, but later he says sorry. Still, I feel hurt and think he is ignoring me. When he does not answer my calls or messages, I feel overwhelmed, anxious, and unable to control my emotions. In those moments, I get very angry and say things without understanding. Later, I feel guilty and regret my actions. Instead of hurting him, I have hurt myself by cutting my hand twice. I am scared of this behavior and I do not want to continue like this. I want to understand why I react so strongly and learn how to manage my emotions in a healthy way. I am also worried that my behavior may damage my relationship. I am seeking professional guidance
Answers (15)
Get your queries answered instantly with Care AI FREE
20000+ health queries resolved in last month
Hi
Next Steps
hi
Health Tips
hi
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Didn't find the answer you are looking for?
Talk to experienced doctor online and get your health questions answered in just 5 minutes.
+132
Kindly reach out for sessions
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Consult psychotherapist
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Consultation with me is suggested
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
It is important to know that while your current experiences with intense anger, anxiety, and self-harming urges are very frightening, wanting to understand these reactions and seek help is a brave and vital first step toward healing. Everyone experiences overwhelming emotions at times, and feeling hurt or ignored in a long-term relationship can create a deep sense of distress that is difficult to navigate alone. Counseling can help by providing a safe, non-judgmental space to explore why these strong reactions happen and how to process the guilt and regret that often follow. A professional can guide you in learning healthy ways to manage your emotions, helping you find better ways to cope during moments of conflict so you can protect both your well-being and your relationship.
Next Steps
seek help
Health Tips
consult
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Hi, Consult a psychologist
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
It seems to be an anger management issue which is leading to various psychological issues.
It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It can be well treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
You need an expert Psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience.
you can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
You've explained your issue quite well...I’m glad you reached out.... please note, what you’re experiencing is intense, but it can be managed with the right support.
Next Steps
Please consider speaking to a counsellor soon, they can help you understand these triggers and build healthier coping patterns.
If you feel overwhelmed or unsafe, reach out to someone you trust immediately.
Health Tips
Two things you can try right now:
When emotions spike, delay reacting....take 10 slow breaths or splash cold water on your face. This helps your body calm before you respond.
Instead of harming yourself, channel the urge into safer outlets like holding ice, writing your feelings, or going for a brisk walk.
PLEASE CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST AT THE EARLIEST.
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Hello, thank you for sharing this—it takes courage to open up. What you’re experiencing are intense emotional reactions, and your self-harm urges are a sign that you need support, not judgment.
Right now, please focus on immediate safety—try to stay around someone you trust and avoid being alone during overwhelming moments. When urges come, use safer alternatives like holding ice, deep breathing, or writing your feelings.
For long-term help, therapies like DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) are very effective for emotional regulation and self-harm urges.
You don’t have to handle this alone—please consider booking a session so we can work on this step by step in a safe and structured way.
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Nicely explained, you are deeply involved in the relationship and your partner too. Many aspects counsellor should know about the past 4 years.
Next Steps
You should consult with Psychologist.
Self Harm makes you weeker. In such a relationship you should seems stronger, so, nobody can dominates you.
Health Tips
Confidence building, prepare yourself to face the challenges and need some lifestyle changes. so, book a session.
Best wishes 🌻
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Hi
It sounds like your emotions become very intense very quickly in situations where you feel ignored or hurt, especially in your relationship. Your mind starts interpreting small incidents like delayed replies or scolding as rejection, which triggers overwhelming anxiety and anger. In those moments, it becomes difficult to pause or think clearly, so you react impulsively and later feel guilt and regret. The self harm seems to be a way of releasing that emotional overload rather than an actual wish to harm yourself, but it is still a serious sign that your distress is crossing a threshold where you need support and safer coping tools.
We need to work on two things together, understanding the pattern behind your reactions and building emotional regulation skills for those high intensity moments. Techniques like identifying trigger thoughts, delaying reactions, grounding your body, and creating alternatives to self harm can help you regain control. Your fear about damaging the relationship shows insight and motivation to change, which is a very positive sign. With consistent therapy, you can learn to respond instead of react and feel more stable within yourself and your relationship. Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
Next Steps
Reach out
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Mr. Sandeep Kumar
Psychologist
15 yrs exp
Chandigarh
Dear concerned, It is vital that you prioritize your safety by seeking immediate professional support to develop healthy distress tolerance skills and address the underlying triggers for self-harm.
Learning to regulate these intense emotional responses will not only help you feel more in control but also create a more stable foundation for your relationship.
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Ms. Pooja Gupta
Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
Hello,
Itâs understandable to feel overwhelmed and hurt in your situation, especially when dealing with intense emotions and relationship conflicts. Your reactions, such as anger and self-harm, are ways your mind is trying to cope with the distress, but they are not healthy in the long run. Itâs important to recognize that these feelings are valid, and seeking help is a positive step. A mental health professional can help you understand the underlying reasons for your strong reactions and teach you healthier ways to manage your emotions, such as through coping strategies, relaxation techniques, and communication skills. Therapy can also support you in addressing self-harm behaviors and improving your self-esteem and emotional resilience. Remember, you donât have to face this aloneâgetting professional guidance can help you find healthier ways to handle distress and protect your relationship.
Next Steps
consult
Health Tips
seek help
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Ms. Nikita Khan
Mental Health Counselor
3 yrs exp
Guwahati
I hope you are doing well… this is not a great place to be in i know.
From your writings what i could understand is that :
1) you are too attached to your partner.
2) you are scared to be alone.
3) you are not able to manage your emotions.
4) feeling of helplessness and worthless.
Next Steps
What you should try to do :
1) talk to your loved ones as much as you can, do not isolate yourself… trust me this is not the end.
2) you are not alone in this, please do not lose hope.
3) anger is an emotion just like crying so we just need to divert the anger into some other desirable emotions.
4) you can take a counselling session for better understanding or if you are thinking theres nobody who is understanding you.
Health Tips
Do not think you are alone. Reach out
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Ms. Pooja Bhargava
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Delhi
You’re feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions and reacting in ways that hurt you. With support you can work on managing triggers and building safer coping strategies so you can respond and not react.
Next Steps
Consult a psychologist
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Articles you may like
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
The question asked on this page is a free question. You can ask a free health question by downloading the Practo app.
Articles you may like
Tell us what's troubling you
Tell us what's troubling you
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.