Overthinking. I just wanted to be!

I overthink a lot like I have no friends and I'm middle child we are 3 sister my parents don't know what I'm going through because they don't even talk to me nicely they love my elder sister and younger sister it's not because I'm thinking that it is because somethings happens in front of me like if I get marks i will get love I had worst 4 yrs relationship just because I want love I'm going through all this I'm an introvert person sometimes I want to kill my self my friends betrayed me I'm alone in college my college is strict my uncle who handles all our financial work they also don't talk to me my whenever I try to say things that you're doing partiality she says I'm negative thinker all of my family members act like I'm not existing I tried my best to be feel loved but my boyfriend also treated me like shit I cried every night like 2 am 3 am time is passing still I'm overthinking afraid of what will they think I have no one I'm alone I cry a lot it's like burden i just wanted to be