Not able to move on. Their sucess.

I cheated or betrayed many people in my life. i was not mature enough to understand all the deeds i was doing. as now i am mature enough to understand what i did at that time was Childishness or i was immature.No as i think of doing anything in my life that deeds come in my way.i just cant move on. i can't move on.it keeps running in my mind.i feel guilty and very guilty.Each and everyday i think of the money i cheated.with people i cheated.And now i can't focus on my work. i just can't do anything just because i see there faces in my mind. I already talked with them and apologised them personally. and they have forgiven me already.but still i can't move on. i find myself alone. i am ruined. i have ruined my life my career my position my image.. everything. I want to start a new life. i want to start everything from zero. i have lost my motivation.i have lost my self confidence. i am fat now. my fan following has gone to zero.i feel like i am dead. I feel jealous seeing their sucess.