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NoFap, Celibacy and OCD together
I relapsed on 28th February 2026 and since then it has been constant. For me porn was never the problem but masturbation. I used to be so good at this but now I am failing at my game since OCD started to take over my life.
6th December 2022-28th February 2026, I was so strong mentally but getting emotionally overloaded slowly. Then I Relapsed again on 1st May 2026. I relapsed again on Monday May 11 2026 two times within a span of 50 minutes.
Guilt and shame has to start taking places with me. In science, masturbation is not the problem but the aftermath destroys me in pieces.
I am spiritually tainted now and I am avoiding social connections, conversation with everyone especially girls, dance classes, singing because I feel like I tainted them all. I need a redemption arc.
I have been so strong for years and I fell this far yet again.
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Three years and two months of holding strong — and you remember the exact date it started. That’s not someone who doesn’t care. That’s someone who cares deeply, which is also exactly why the shame hits so hard when things slip.
Here’s what I want you to understand: this isn’t a willpower problem. OCD latches onto the things that matter most to you — your spirituality, your self-image, your connections — and uses them against you. The guilt and shame after? That’s not your conscience. That’s the OCD loop completing itself. And that loop is actually what’s fuelling the cycle, not breaking it.
The avoidance — dance, singing, people — you’re not protecting anyone. You’re carrying a weight you don’t need to carry alone.
The good news is this cycle is very recognisable to me, and it’s very workable. But it needs the right approach, not just more willpower.
I’d really like to talk to you properly about this. Book a consultation with me here on Practo — even one session can help you see this very differently
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Ms. Pooja Bhargava
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Delhi
What you’re describing sounds more connected to OCD, guilt, and emotional overwhelm than weakness or failure. Healing becomes easier when the focus shifts from self-punishment to understanding and support
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Working on these thoughts with the help of a psychologist can reduce their intensity over time.
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Ms. Akanksha Sharma
Counselling Psychologist
5 yrs exp
Faridabad
It sounds as if pornography has been a lifelong addiction for you that you have been struggling with. It’s natural to feel disheartened after a relapse but remind yourself that you are a fighter and you will win the battle against addiction. As you mentioned you are also going through spiritual crisis.
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Try to seek therapeutic support and also take separate help for your spiritual crisis from a trustworthy person or organisation
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.