Mind issues. Please help me doctor.

Hello Maam/sir, Since I was a kid I had no friends and even now I don't have. I am in a relationship since last 6 years. As a kid I've been always alone. Both my parents are working. I have a younger sibling but not so much attached. Since my childhood I used to talk to myself, like not in my mind but literally like speaking out. Anything that happens in the past recently or may be 2 to 3 years back I keep talking about that to myself. People finds me weired. I've tried meditation but still not getting any solution. Thus has increased so much that I am starting to hate anybody at another level. I love my boyfriend so much, but in my mind I think bad about him. Then again all if a sudden I come back to sense and say myself that this never happened then why am I thinking. Please help me doctor.