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Marriage Issues -(Video Councelling)
Wife says, she married me because I am earning X. So, It is my duty to provide her the lifestyle she wants. Frequent quarells are because of me refusing to buy something she demands.
We have a 1.5 years old baby. I cook. In free time, sometimes during working hours, I help with the baby 100%. She says, It is not her duty to work. But she will try to find a job as it is difficult to take care of the baby the whole day. Her parents are demanding to keep maids. I don't think we are rich enough to keep servants. Both of us need to share the household burden. But if my wife went to work, she will ask for maids. Whatever she earns she will keep for herself and I have to pay for the servant. I am not happy with this.
I find her very narrow minded with fragile ego. She hates my family. Eg:My mother once advised me to not 'waste' too much money. She overheard that and hates my mother for it.
Feeling suffocated. I have no time for anything after marriage. will this pass? how to deal with it?
Answers (13)
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It seems to be post partum harmonal changes which can also induce psychological issues.
It needs to be addressed asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine if required.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist for the last 17 years. you can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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First of all according to my understanding you are thinking that you are in rut and you want to get out of rut . It is my hunch your wife would not be ready for counseling but you can ask her for counseling. If she doesn't make her mind in that case you can go for counselling first and get out of rut without emotionally disturbing youself . You wud be able to make better decisions if you would not make yourself disturb about your wife behaviour and what is happening in your life . Most time we have three options 1.tolerating with disturbance 2.tolerating without disturbance 3.leave situation. Now you are tolerating situation with disturbance. So go for counseling and learn how to tolerate the situation without disturbance or leave the situation.
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go for counselling
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Hi dear,
You both need counseling sessions. Try to communicate with your wife openly about your thoughts. Consult for proper guidance.
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It's clear that there are multiple issues at play here, including financial disagreements, differing views on household responsibilities, and strained family relationships. Here are some suggestions that might help you address these challenges:
Open Communication:
Talk Honestly: Have an open and honest conversation with your wife. Clearly express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing her. Make sure she understands your perspective.
Active Listening: Listen to her side of the story as well. Understanding her concerns and motivations can help both of you find common ground.
Seek Compromise:
Financial Planning: Consider creating a budget together. Discuss your financial goals, and decide together how to allocate money for expenses, savings, and personal spending.
Shared Responsibilities: It's important to share household and childcare responsibilities. Discuss and agree on a fair division of labor that works for both of you.
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Remember, every relationship is unique, and these suggestions might not cover all the complexities of your situation. If the issues persist or worsen, it could be beneficial to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can provide personalized guidance based on a deeper understanding of your specific circumstances.
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Hi,
Hi,
Consult a Marriage counsellor, counselling will benefit to strengthen your relationship and feel more connected and bonded with one another to be able to grow individually and together as a couple.
It can improve communication skills, help understand each other better, you learn how to make a better team in your marriage, and increase parenting skills.
Counselling gives both of you access to meaningful insight and tools to help make communication more effective and compassionate so your’ll can resolve your issues in a positive healthy manner.
Both of you will understand the dynamics of your differences and communicate effectively to enable resolution.
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Additional effort is required from both of you , your dedication to implement the skills discussed during counselling , be invested in the process and mindful of your communication .
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Hi, Consult a psychologist for counseling sessions.Marriage counseling is necessary.
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Connect
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Couple counseling is required
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connect
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consult
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I can understand your concerns. It is difficult to say whether it is a phase and will it change with time. What I can understand though is that there is lack of clarity regarding shared roles and responsibilities in the marriage. It seems like both of you come with very different expectations from a partner.
It is important to come to a common ground and develop a shared understanding in a marriage
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Couples counselling will be helpful in creating a shared space and understanding
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Hi there,
i understand your issue completely and how you are going through this situation.
With time you will feel more burdened this is the right time to connect. There are multiplicity of factors involved in your scenario.
Counselling will help you to ackle and make wise decisions for your future.
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Ms. Simran Dugar
Mental Health Counselor
3 yrs exp
Kolkata
It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation in your marriage.
Open and honest communication is key. Try to have a calm conversation with your wife about your feelings and concerns. Understand each other's perspectives and priorities.
Consider couples counseling to help mediate these discussions and improve communication. A neutral third party can provide valuable insights.
Discuss the division of household responsibilities and finances openly, working towards a solution that feels fair and equitable for both of you.
Addressing conflicts and differences with empathy and understanding can help improve your relationship. Remember, change takes time, but working together can lead to a healthier, happier marriage.
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You can contact me for personal online sessions: https://mindsculpt.in/contact-us/
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Ms. Shivangi Gupta
Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Delhi
Hello. It sounds like you’re facing a lot of distress in your relationship with your wife. It’s vital that you both attend marriage counselling. It will help you both to communicate openly and honestly in a manner which doesn’t demean the other person.
You will feel heard and you will know better of what decisions to make and how!
Consult a mental health professional soon
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Pooja Gupta
Psychologist
2 yrs exp
Kolkata
Hello, Sorry to know you are feeling this way. I hope you both have planned the baby and discussed the financial responsibilities that come with the baby, if not, please sit down and do it now (if you both cannot come to a consensus, seek couple counselling). If you are unable to afford house help or nanny, please convey that honestly to your wife. There should not be any assumed responsibility (that you have to earn and she has to take care of the child). If she is capable enough to earn and support the lifestyle, she can opt to work and you can be a full time dad at home, provided her earning is sufficient for you 3. If not so, you will have to continue working and she has to take care of the child at home. Since taking care of an infant is also a full time job and an all day long job, you can hire part time help, if even that seems difficult and unaffordable, please seek help from either of your parents. The work needs be balanced and you both need to discuss that with each other. If there are certain things you cannot afford, please explain it to her honestly. You are not doing any of it intentionally, hire help if you can afford I would suggest and she can also work but your wife also needs to be supporting.
Communicate honestly. Also, understand why your wife is feeling the need of a certain lifestyle (society also adds pressure, sometimes leading us to have unrealistic demands).
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Couple counselling will really help. I am happy to help.
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You can get over it but having an understanding between you two is very important and being honest with each other should help and communication.
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