Major depressive disorder. If not death.

Here are a few suggestions that could be helpful : When you begin to focus on what's calling for your attention and needs to be addressed within you, you will be able to overcome the challenges you are dealing with right now. You cannot drive out darkness dealing with it face-to-face. But once you light a candle, darkness automatically disappears. As you know, just like a healthy diet, regular physical activity and adequate rest contribute towards physical well being, there are practices that can help you take care of your psychological and emotional well being. Usually, we may tend to think that ' let me be in a good mood/let everything be perfect and then I'll do something that's good for me '. From your own experiences, you must be knowing that it's actually the reverse that works. Once you incorporate these practices in your daily routine, you will soon begin to see their impact in the way you think, feel and behave. When you examine the nature of thoughts that you experience from time to time, you will see that they tend to keep shifting their focus from one object/topic/event to another. Today they might be fixated on an event/person/topic. Tomorrow it could be another topic/event/person. Try thinking about nothing. You will see that you cannot have thoughts about nothing. Another important characteristic of thoughts is this - You may either have thoughts about the past or the future ( for instance, guilt about experiences deemed to be ' failures ' in the past or anxiety about what might happen in the future ). Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that you cannot have thoughts about the present moment. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states may keep alternating. The first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. Just like how the clothes you are wearing right now are yours, but not you, thoughts that you experience from time to time are yours, but not you. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. When you repeatedly focus on a thought, say, a thought which is threatening or disturbing by nature and identify with it, believing it to be true, the corresponding emotion rises in your brain. It overpowers your capability to think rationally. The cycle repeats and hence you feel imprisoned by your own thoughts and emotions. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts that are healthy enough to be acted upon. You will also be able to be more aware of your emotions and this awareness will help you manage them better. Figuratively speaking, all emotions come through the same pipeline and hence you cannot and need not selectively block a few and welcome the others. Awareness puts you back in charge whereby you can channelize them better. Usually when we experience disturbing thoughts, we may tend to fight, resist or control them. Fighting a thought or emotion only gives it more power. Say, for instance, when someone asks you not to think of a pink elephant, the first thought that invariably comes to you is that of a pink elephant. Instead, what we can do is, learning to be an observer of such thoughts and emotions( that do not serve your highest good ) and not identify with them or act on them. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs have an impact on your psychological and emotional well being. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of words you choose to speak about yourself and others, the kind of company you keep ( ' You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with ' - these five people need not be physically present. They could be role models who inspire you. ) Here is a breathing exercise that could help you : You may do this in the night once you have finished your tasks for the day : Inhale slowly to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. You may do this also in the morning before you begin your daily routine. Gently massage the back of your neck and the base of your scalp when you lie down to rest. Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? What are those beliefs on the basis of which you feel that you don't deserve the right to lead the kind of life that you truly deserve to live? Reflect on those situations which unsettle you the most. What are the thoughts that you typically experience in such situations ? What are the beliefs on the basis of which you keep considering those thoughts to reflect reality or the truth ? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of some of the feedback you might have received in the past - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them, examine their truth, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. The next time you experience overwhelming thoughts or emotions, try observing the thoughts and sensations without judging them as threatening, knowing that it is like a wave that ebbs and falls and that it will pass. Keep your focus on your breathing throughout. You will see for yourself that with practice, you are able to manage such situations quite well. Please set aside time for exercise daily and try to eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution.