Low self esteem and Social Anxiety.

I have a few friends. I've always cared too much about what people thought to the point where I pretty much became suicidal & either lose my sleep for days or sleep too much overall.I hold a post in this club in our school & it has all the 'popular' people. I don't fit in. I dread to go and even be able to make conversation with these people. People hate me in the club cuz I did no extra work and got in and even the teacher would pick on me all the time in class. Someone says something & I think bout it for days & stop doing everything cause I'm so worthless in my head.Each time people would look at me,all I can think is gosh they're making fun of me.I hate to go up to classes to make announcements cuz I'm sure no one will listen to me.My mum has never been supportive of me & would tell me how I'm ugly dumb & a failure. I feel like giving up.I will disappoint my dad.I think I have anxietyattacks 3-4/day cuz I felt things & searched them up and every single symptom was indicating that.