Is this Called Depression. ? Something.

Hi,i am facing my problems in my life last one year I have faced so much failure or rejection in my professional life..My family is forcing me to do something I am trying my best to get something better but this leads to hopelessness,and m feeling numb from inside I do smile in front of others but I like to live in dark wide room with my earphones on.. m feeling numb from inside sometimes there is thought of suicide because of my failure,I don't want to talk anyone I blocked all my contacts I separated my self from others,m daily suffered from sleeplessness,I can feel my Heart rate when I am thinking about something,I can't focus on my professional and personal life.. I am being anxious because everyone is here is judging me ,I am afraid to tell my side of stories ,I have headache everyday only from one side, m being tired of everything.. is this normal or I have something.??