I think I'll die soon. Manner to anyone.

Early when I used to be upset then I was able to express but now I feel I have lost that patience too. My tests says I have severe depression. My bodyaches I have become short tempered I feel upset all the time I don't know how n why to move on, no confidence in myself. I feel like jumping from heights or meet with an accident n die soon. I'm never loved enough! I start panicking easily n have a lot of anxiety due to which I'm not able to breath. I feel as if I have ghosts around me. I don't know what to do I feel dizziness n can't sleep n if I sleep I wake up tired. My throat hurts a lot when I try to speak while I'm upset or angry. I don't know what medicine to take or shall I die like this, I can feel my brain nerve blood pumping while I'm angry. I cry while when I'm angry n I'm not able to express in a proper manner to anyone.