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I am married from past 17 years.i don't connect well with my in-laws, husband and sister in law.i stay nuclear.once a year i go to my in-laws home no one says anything to anyone no conversation.i feel just there for check mark .i often used to call everyone keep checking on them thinking it's my duty .but this time after coming back i stopped calling them but when ever they call i talk nicely .but now everyone including my husband is not talking to me.what should I do.its like this since beginning,no one wants to treat me with respect.but within themselves they treat each other well.leaving husband is not possible as I have 2 kids.should i talk to them or i should also not make any efforts? kindly suggest from your professional expertise
Answers (12)
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Thank you so much for sharing your experienceâitâs clear youâve been carrying a lot of emotional pain and exhaustion in this relationship for a long time. Feeling unheard, unvalued, and isolatedâespecially within close relationshipsâcan deeply impact your well-being and self-worth. Your desire for peace, respect, and emotional balance is entirely valid.
Iâm a clinical psychologist, and Iâd be glad to support you through this. In therapy, we can explore:
How these patterns have affected your emotional health
Ways to set healthy boundaries while preserving what matters to you
How to reconnect with your own sense of strength, calm, and clarity
Strategies to manage relationship stress while protecting your mental space
If you'd like to begin, we can schedule a session at your comfort and paceâonline or in person, depending on what works best for you. You donât have to go through this alone, and support is available.
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Connect with a clinical psychologist/ mental health professional
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You can call on 9660-912-430
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It is case of emotional cutoff a situation where you’re included enough to maintain appearances but excluded from real emotional intimacy. You’ve done your part, and it’s okay to step back without guilt. Don’t chase connections that leave you drained. Instead, invest in yourself, your children, and friendships that feel real. If your husband withdraws emotionally because you stopped initiating it’s a sign he was never truly bridging the gap. You don’t owe silence to preserve peace, but neither do you owe constant effort to people who stay indifferent.
Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Hi,
You’ve tried hard over the years.. calling, checking in, staying kind. It’s okay to feel hurt and confused when your efforts go unnoticed.
But let’s take a breath here. Instead of focusing on who’s not calling or respecting you, how about focusing on what you need right now?
Start by giving yourself that same kindness and attention you’ve been offering others.
If talking feels too heavy, you can start with journaling or short voice notes to yourself… you matter in this story.
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You don’t need to “fix” all relationships overnight. But one safe space to be heard.. like a counseling session can help you start healing without burning out. Look for a in- person session in your city or connect with one here online.
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You’re not alone in this. You just need a place that’s about you.. for a change.
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it is better if you get started with therapy where you can better understand the conflicts and how to resolve them.Along with Therapy
I also provide psychiatric nutrition where with easily available ingredients we can balance and restore our functioning through eclectic therapy approach.
Contact me at eight five nine one three six zero eight nine four.
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HI,
It sounds like you're feeling isolated and misunderstood within your family dynamics, which can be very challenging and emotionally draining. Maintaining a respectful and caring attitude, as you have by continuing to talk nicely when they call, is commendable. Given the longstanding nature of these issues and your concern about leaving your husband and children, it might be helpful to seek professional guidance, such as counseling or therapy, to navigate these feelings and improve communication. Opening a gentle, honest conversation with your husband about your feelings and the situation could also help in finding mutual understanding and support. Ultimately, prioritising your emotional well-being while focusing on maintaining a positive environment for your children is essential. Remember, seeking external support is a healthy step towards addressing complex family relationships.
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consult with a Psychologist
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seek help
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Hi there,
It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your own for a long time. Wanting respect and connection from your family is completely valid, and it’s painful when that isn’t returned.
If talking openly with your husband feels possible, it might help to gently express how alone you’ve been feeling. But it’s also okay to take a step back and protect your own peace when others don’t reciprocate.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Speaking with a psychologist could give you support and tools to cope just for you, to feel heard and stronger within yourself. You’ve done so much already and it’s okay to get some help too.
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Consult
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Ms. Neha Sachdev
Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi
17 years is a long time. There are few options that you can work on..
either you work on yourself- build an identity of your own, once you feel power within you, you will be able to handle the situations better. Learn. Grow. Be you
Or
You talk to your husband as to what is the issue and have an open heart/ open listening to what they want to say. Also keep yourself calm and composed. This has to be taken as a discussion rather than a blame game
Now, if you want to make things better, it’s better to feel the power of self and talk rather go as a guilty person.
Always happy to help
Contact me at eight three six eight zero five three seven one zero
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Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
You’ve done your part. Now, it’s okay to stop, breathe, and let others show whether they value you or not. Don't chase respect — live in a way that demands it silently. If nothing changes externally, change how much emotional access you give them to your peace.
You're not alone. Your feelings are valid. You matter.
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connect
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consult
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... The silent treatment you are receiving can be a product of various issues pre-existing in your marriage and your relationship with your in-laws. It appears from your description that you could never gel well with your in-laws and your husband is more on their side than yours. Since you are in a nuclear family, so you need to understand that this distance is physical and you also need to make it mental for you to be away from these neglected feelings. You first need to work on your marital relationship and genuinely need to connect to your partner to understand where you are lacking and to communicate where he is not doing enough. Unless a couple has a good understanding within themselves, they cannot build a healthy working relationship with anyone in the extended family. Ideally, Marital Counselling or Family Counselling is suggested in such cases. But considering the present situation, I believe it won't be possible. So you must start with Individual Counselling to address issues at your level. You don't need to figure all out at once and it's not about finding faults or assigning blames. It only about trying to understand your relative position in this family/marital dynamics. Identifying the choke points and conflicts. And addressing more deeper issues at the individual level that might be clouding your judgement and redressive response.
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Consult a Psychologist.
Interpersonal Relationship Counselling and Personal Guidance is required.
Seek Marital Counselling if your husband is willing.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Ms. Avleen Kaur
Clinical Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Delhi
Thank you for sharing so openly. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of emotional weight for years, trying to maintain family relationships with little reciprocation. It’s understandable to feel hurt and isolated in such a dynamic. At this point, it’s important to shift your focus towards setting healthy emotional boundaries and prioritizing your well-being. Effort in relationships should be mutual—if it’s always one-sided, it can lead to emotional burnout. Instead of pushing for connection, try focusing on open communication with your husband about how you feel, possibly with the help of a couples therapist. You deserve respect, emotional support, and a sense of belonging in your own home.
Next Steps
- To consult a psychologist to talk about your emotions
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