Feeling alone. On myself or my career?

I am 25 years old, from my childhood to till now I am feeling alone, I NVR felt that my parents care for me neither my sibling. I used to talk to myself, I used to talk to plants, god's on frames, I used to imagine things to make myself happy for sometime. I don't have proper friends. Whoever I have , I m getting hurt because of them and being with them also I feel lonely. Many times I got sucidal thoughts, I tried to attempt as I feel empty. I NVR felt there is someone for me. All these years all I wanted for some care n love. I have been longing for someone who really cares to be by my side. But I realised that I don't have that luck. I have to suffer my loneliness. What to do to let go of my emotions and be balanced? What to do to control myself? How to divert my focus on myself or my career ?