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Emotional trauma
My husband and his family are not sorry for what they have done to me.
Husband only supports his brother, sister and parents irrespective of what they have done against me.
It’s not that I don’t love him, but if I don’t feel safe and respected, should i stay with him.
I talk to him about our relation but he eventually reaches and discusses his family not us.
Last 6 years have been very tough for me emotionally with all these emotional unavailability from husband and indifference.
I think he wanted a daughter in law and not a wife.
But yes whenever i go away from him he starts playing victim card and tells I am
Not well come back, I can’t stay without you all that.
Kindly guide what should I do? I am actually stuck in life in a loop. This has happened multiple times I go back and then every thing is same.
Answers (15)
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Hi, please meet a psychologist and discuss about your problems. You may need couple Counselling or marriage Counselling. But you visit first.
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Hi
Work on your individual identify, happiness and satisfaction
Next Steps
marital therapy
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negotiation, sacrifice and understanding from both sides
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Consultation with me is advised
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You both need a couple counseling sessions. It needs to be addressed in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
You need an expert counseling psychologist.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Hi,
It deeply saddens me to hear about the emotional pain and feeling of unworthiness you're experiencing. Your feelings of being unsafe and disrespected are valid, and you deserve love, support, and respect in your marriage. Staying in a relationship where you feel neglected, unsupported, and unvalued can be harmful to your mental and emotional health. Itâs important to prioritize your well-being and consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and situations. Reflect on what truly makes you happy and safe, and remember that you deserve a partnership based on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine care. If your husband continues to prioritize his family over your needs, and the cycle repeats without change, it may be necessary to think about your future and whether staying in this relationship is truly in your best interest. You are not alone, and seeking help from trusted friends, family, or professionals can guide you toward clarity and healing. Your happiness and safety matter most.
Next Steps
consult
Health Tips
seek help
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Jo aap feel kar rahi hain wo bahut painful aur emotionally draining hai, aur itni lambi duration tak bina safety aur support ke rehna kisi ke liye bhi mushkil hota hai.
Jab relationship me baar-baar emotional neglect, disrespect aur lack of safety ho, to confused aur stuck feel karna bilkul natural hai. Same pattern me wapas jana aur phir situation ka waisa hi rehna yeh dikhata hai ki core issues abhi tak resolve nahi hue hain. Emotional dependency ya victim card ke through aapko wapas bulaya jaata hai, lekin real behavioural change nahi hota, jo trauma ko aur deepen kar sakta hai.
Next Steps
Individual therapy start karein taaki clarity aur emotional strength develop ho, aur couple counseling sirf tab consider karein jab genuine willingness aur change dikhai de.
Health Tips
Apni emotional safety ko priority dein aur sirf promises par nahi, balki consistent actions par decision lein.
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Consult psychotherapist
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You can visit my profile and get therapies for your emotional condition
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consult Dr.Husna tahseen
counsellor and psychotherapist
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Six years of emotional unavailability, not feeling defended, being pulled back with guilt when you try to leave, and then watching nothing change… that wears a person down at the core. It makes you doubt yourself, your needs, even your right to feel hurt Love is not enough if you don’t feel safe, respected, and emotionally held. Wanting those things is not selfish. It is normal.
Right now, you sound trapped in a loop:
you speak up → nothing changes → you distance yourself → he panics and asks you back → you return → the same pattern repeats.
That cycle keeps hope alive while slowly draining you. What’s especially hard is that when you try to talk about your relationship, he shifts the focus to defending his family instead of addressing how you are hurting. That leaves you feeling invisible as if you exist only to fit into a role, not as a partner with emotional needs.
What matters most here
You don’t feel emotionally safe.
You don’t feel prioritized.
Your pain hasn’t been acknowledged.
The pattern has repeated many times.
Those are serious signals, not small marital disagreements.
Health Tips
1) Stop circular arguments.
When talks turn into defending his family instead of addressing you, say calmly:
“Right now I’m talking about us. Let’s stay on our marriage.”
If he doesn’t shift, pause the conversation. Don’t keep pleading.
2) Track actions, not words.
Write privately:
– What did I ask for?
– Did it actually happen this week?
Patterns tell the truth faster than promises.
3) Set one small boundary.
Example: leaving the room when insults start, refusing to argue in front of others, asking for private discussions only. Enforce it quietly and consistently.
4) Build independence daily.
Save small amounts. Update your CV. Learn one skill. Keep documents safe. Speak to one supportive person weekly. Even tiny independence changes your mindset.
5) Reduce guilt hooks.
When he pulls you back emotionally, repeat inside:
I will decide based on long-term change, not panic or tears.
6) Care for your nervous system.
Walk daily. Eat on time. Sleep as best you can. Write feelings instead of swallowing them. Chronic stress makes everything feel impossible.
7) Give yourself a time window.
Decide: I’ll watch behaviour for X weeks.
If nothing shifts, that data matters.
8) Reconnect with yourself.
Do one thing each week just for you—meeting a friend, class, hobby, quiet time. Isolation weakens clarity.
You don’t need to fix the whole marriage at once.
Start with boundaries, observation, and strengthening yourself. That’s how people step out of loops.
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Consult with Psychologist for discuss in detail and also take therapies for your mentally condition
Next Steps
Connect
Health Tips
Connect
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Hi
This is a real sticky situation that ur in. Many times husbands are unable to take sides of their spouses even when they want to because they’re unable to move away from their own family members due to perceived hurt they may be inflicting them or perceived social stigma of standing by the wife against the parents. However they also need the wife hence the dilemma of not being able to stay without her.
On the other hand u are left in a quandary n don’t know what u must do. U want a life with husband while u can’t live in such conditions where ur dignity is compromised every now n then.
Next Steps
4 ways to tackle this situation:
Change the situation
If can’t then change the perspective of looking at it
If can’t then accept the situation radically
If can’t then continue suffering until u accept reality
Health Tips
Choose a good clinical psychologist to help u with this. 9 z7.1s1s7n 9 g2 6 an8 na9
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Hi you can connect with psychologist to discuss in detail
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connect consult
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Hi
What you are describing shows a deep emotional struggle that has been going on for many years. Feeling unsupported, unsafe, and emotionally invisible in a marriage can slowly break a person from inside. When a partner consistently prioritizes his family over your feelings and does not take responsibility for the hurt caused, it naturally creates loneliness, self-doubt, and exhaustion. Wanting love is normal, but love alone is not enough when respect, security, and emotional presence are missing. Your pain is valid. Repeating the same cycle of leaving, returning, and getting disappointed again shows that your heart is trying to survive in a situation that is not giving you what you truly need.
It is also important to notice the pattern where he becomes emotional and plays the victim only when you try to distance yourself, but does not change his behavior afterward. This keeps you emotionally stuck and confused. A healthy relationship is built on mutual effort, accountability, and emotional safety, not on guilt or fear of losing the other person. You deserve clarity, strength, and support to decide what is best for your mental and emotional well-being. Working through this with professional guidance can help you rebuild confidence, set boundaries, and break this painful loop. Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Ms. Neha Sachdev
Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi
U have gone through a lot in this 6yrs.. if u think ur husband has been not around you or understood you, you should have other options to build yourself well..
you can have a fulfilling life.
Sometimes, it’s just too hard to let go a person whom you have had expectations and dreams with with him. That what stops us from our growth.
This is about your life. If u want to come in and talk, please do, as it will bring you more clarity in life.
Contact me at eight three six eight zero five three seven one zero
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Mr. Fr Dr John Zachariah
Counselling Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Ernakulam
Consult a psychologist
Health Tips
my contact 85898*53765
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.