Disturbed mentally. Also. please help!

Hi. I can understand that what you are gping through in life can be very frustrating. It seems that you have made your relationship very complicated. You need to simplify things. To start with, your friend needs to know that you have a specific type of feeling for him. Until and unless you do that, it will be very difficult for you. Once you have expressed your feelings, it will be important to know his feelings too and accordigly both have to start building on the relationship. Remember, one sided relationships often lead to pain. If both of you have same feelings for each other, work with each other and you can even seek professional help for couple's therapy. If he is not interested, it will be important for you to move on in your life.

Talk to your friend about your emotions frankly.