Depression. It be helpful to me or no?

I'm having hallucinations. I sit and talk in the middle of the night. My breakup has really hit me hard. I've been in relation for 3n half years and along with that stress at home and collg and squeezed me to the core. I sit and cry in the middle of the night. Feel like hurting myself,same time I don't. I'm scared to have a conversation with anyone. Hard to believe or trust anyone. Scared to go out. I don't sleep at nights and eventually when I fall asleep early in the morning I don't like to wake up as it makes me feel safe sleeping so I don't have to face anyone or the world. I thought may be for one last time if I talk out what is there in my heart and mind to the person why has hurt me deep down, will it be helpful to me or no ?He has been hiding things lately and lying to me. I really tried hard to mend my relation but it couldn't. I unable to get over it at some point I go back to the past and it effects me. It has brought a lot of damage to me mentally, physically and emotionaly