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Depression?
I don't even know how to explain what I feel. Sometimes, I think I'm better off dead but I couldn't muster the courage to end my life because I know my family needs me. I am too tired of living honestly. I even get tired doing nothing. I don't want to take a leave from work because it's just going to be waste of time. I've lost interest in almost everything. I don't want to talk to my friends about what I feel anymore because I might just annoy them. I feel nothing and everything all at once.
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Answers (1)

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Care AI Shimmer
I think you are Confused between various reasons. Probably,  you are lacking some clarity about yourself and your life. You might get a clarity and understanding after Consulting a psychologist.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.