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Depression and anxiety
My name is Shilpa, 27 yrs old, its been a year since I got married. We will always end up quarreling. He always takes his parents side. I am not at all a priority for him.. what i like to eat is also of not my wish. Only what his parents need needs to be cooked. Being a earning women he is expecting me to do all household works. There seems to be no understanding. I have grown up with great respect and values but iam getting very much stressed and depressed. I am not able to control my pain and anger that why my husband doesn't prioritise me. Please suggest some good tablets to control my anger and stress. Iam gaining lot of weight because of this. Please suggest me the medication
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Medicine can calm you temporarily but situation will be there... You need to talk to resolve the situation Need to work on your emotions thoughts and figure out a way out Consult with me or any psychologist for therapy and counseling online Dont worry Take this step All the best :)
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Hi, I have completely got your world and respect for what you could share but tablets aren't the suggestion for calming down. This relationship you are in requires some me time. Marriages are not a one sided relationship. It requires two people to work it out together so you taking medicines alone won't help. Als what I see while reading, even when you are a earning member, you have never done household chores before marriage and that's why you are feeling over burdened. Before marriage there had yo be certain expectations you made up in your mind which is now not at all workable in your head
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you can have a consult with me and we can together know what is the issue and where can the therapies be taken
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1. before counselling, you require to believe that you want to work this marriage first. and when u have this thought you will be able to be coachable. 2. trust self and. also stop expecting things to make life easier. 3. develop some . me time with your husband and know him instead of coming to conclusions. share what you were before marriage and also what you expected.
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Here are a few suggestions that could be helpful : When you begin to focus on what's calling for your attention and needs to be addressed within you, you will be able to overcome the challenges you are dealing with right now. Relationships undoubtedly enrich the quality of our lives. But the primary prerequisite is ensuring one's own psychological and physical well being. Just like how physical well being enables you, makes you fit enough, even to climb a mountain, you will be able to engage with the world appropriately, have the clarity to know what is the right thing to do in every situation, make the right choices/decisions, only from a place of equanimity within. Kindly read what follows : You cannot drive out darkness dealing with it face-to-face. But once you light a candle, darkness automatically disappears. As you know, just like a healthy diet, regular physical activity and adequate rest contribute towards physical well being, there are practices that can help you take care of your psychological and emotional well being. Usually, we may tend to think that ' let me be in a good mood/let everything be perfect and then I'll do something that's good for me '. From your own experiences, you must be knowing that it's actually the reverse that works. Once you incorporate these practices in your daily routine, you will soon begin to see their impact in the way you think, feel and behave. When you examine the nature of thoughts that you experience from time to time, you will see that they tend to keep shifting their focus from one object/topic/event to another. Today they might be fixated on an event/person/topic. Tomorrow it could be another topic/event/person. Try thinking about nothing. You will see that you cannot have thoughts about nothing. Another important characteristic of thoughts is this - You may either have thoughts about the past or the future ( for instance, guilt about experiences deemed to be ' failures ' in the past or anxiety about what might happen in the future ). Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that you cannot have thoughts about the present moment. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states may keep alternating. The first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. Just like how the clothes you are wearing right now are yours, but not you, thoughts that you experience from time to time are yours, but not you. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. When you repeatedly focus on a thought, say, a thought which is threatening or disturbing by nature and identify with it, believing it to be true, the corresponding emotion rises in your brain. It overpowers your capability to think rationally. The cycle repeats and hence you feel imprisoned by your own thoughts and emotions. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts that are healthy enough to be acted upon. You will also be able to be more aware of your emotions and this awareness will help you manage them better. Figuratively speaking, all emotions come through the same pipeline and hence you cannot and need not selectively block a few and welcome the others. Awareness puts you back in charge whereby you can channelize them better. Usually when we experience disturbing thoughts, we may tend to fight, resist or control them. Again, fighting a thought is like fighting a shadow. You can see it, but it's not real. Fighting a thought or emotion only gives it more power. Say, for instance, when someone asks you not to think of a pink elephant, the first thought that invariably comes to you is that of a pink elephant. Instead, what we can do is, learning to be an observer of such thoughts and emotions( that do not serve your highest good ) and not identify with them or act on them. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs have an impact on your psychological and emotional well being. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of words you choose to speak about yourself and others, the kind of company you keep ( ' You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with ' - these five people need not be physically present. They could be role models who inspire you. ) Here is a breathing exercise that could help you : You may do this in the night once you have finished your tasks for the day : Inhale slowly to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. You may do this also in the morning before you begin your daily routine. Gently massage the back of your neck and the base of your scalp when you lie down to rest. Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? Reflect on those situations which unsettle you the most. What are the thoughts that you typically experience in such situations ? What are the beliefs on the basis of which you keep considering those thoughts to reflect reality or the truth ? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of some of the feedback you might have received in the past - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them,examine their truth, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. The next time you experience overwhelming thoughts or emotions, try observing the thoughts and sensations without judging them as threatening, knowing that it is like a wave that ebbs and falls and that it will pass. Keep your focus on your breathing throughout. You will see for yourself that with practice, you are able to manage such situations quite well. Please set aside time for exercise daily and try to eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution.
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Hi Shilpa, Do understand your concerns and unfortunately this the problem with most of the married couples. Though life partners are meant for each other's priority the reality is different. Do understand the pressure of working and handling home. Thats the choice you made it by accepting a new life. Its going to take sometime to get adjust with each other, accept and let go of certain things. Based on your 1 year experience in marriage life , you can work on it.
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Share your concerns to your spouse in a tactful manner than complaining or blaming anyone. Speak to the family members and get their help.
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When you will become your own priority .. you may not need others to make you their priority . It will happen naturally . This is a journey of evolving , growing , nurturing your self to be a better person. When you do that , you reflect and attract the same. If you wish to change things , reach out to us
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Mind management
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Hello Practo user, We understand the amount of stress you must be experiencing in the given circumstances. While medicines could help you to manage your stress and anger they may not be beneficial for you in the long run. I would recommend you to consult a clinical psychologist for relationship counseling. Marriage counseling could allow you to manage your anger and stress in more effective manner and resolve issues faced by you in your marriage.
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Consult a clinical psychologist
Health Tips
Write about your feelings in a journal Avoid overeating by keeping a note of meals and controlling portion Walk for atleast 30 minutes daily
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I agree the difficulties you go through in your married life.. Yet, medicine is not the solution.. I suggest you to consult a Marriage Counselor to understand yourself better and to handle those challenges.. For more details and clarity you can connect with me by using the link given below :- https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.