My daughter,13yr is always bothering about her skin complexion. she spent almost 3-4 hr everyday for her skin care home remedy. but the m
ain concern is that she always covers the curtain ,not allowing the sunlight to come to the house ,seems it will affect her complexion.sometimes slap herself by saying main itni kaali hu,there is peer pressure too in her class..although, her complexion has improved.still can't change her mind.. can this problem will go when she grow up or is it a serious issue for her future..pls advice.How can it be solved permanently.
Answers (14)
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Hi,
Your daughter's concerns about her skin and her behavior, such as spending hours on skincare and avoiding sunlight, suggest she may be struggling with self-esteem and body image issues, possibly influenced by peer pressure and societal beauty standards. While her skin has improved, her negative feelings about her complexion may persist if not addressed properly. It is important to approach her with empathy, reassurance, and support. Encouraging open communication about her feelings can help her feel accepted and understood. Consulting a mental health professional or counselor can provide her with the tools to build self-confidence and develop a healthier self-image. Educating her about the importance of natural sunlight for overall health and skin health, and promoting activities that boost her self-esteem beyond appearance, can also help. Remember, these issues can improve over time with positive reinforcement, support, and professional guidance, and helping her develop a strong sense of self-worth will benefit her long-term well-being.
It seems to be BDD... Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
It can lead to anxiety, depression and other psychological changes.
It needs to be addressed asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It needs to be addressed in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
You need an expert Psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
At 13, this is less about skin and more about self-image and peer pressure. Adolescence is a sensitive phase where children become highly aware of how they look and how others perceive them. Her behavior—excessive skincare, avoiding sunlight, negative self-talk (“main itni kaali hu”), and hitting herself—are signs of low self-esteem and internalized colour bias, not a skin problem.
This may reduce with age only if it is addressed now. If ignored, it can impact her confidence, relationships, and mental health in the future.
You can connect with me for any support
Next Steps
Gently stop reinforcing fairness concerns (avoid comments linking beauty to colour).
• Validate feelings, not fears: “I see you’re worried about how you look, but your worth is not your colour.”
• Limit time spent on home remedies and mirror checking.
• Encourage sunlight and outdoor activity for health, not appearance.
• Actively challenge colourist comments at home and school.
• If self-hitting or distress continues, consult a child/adolescent psychologist—early support is very effective.
What you are noticing is not just concern about skin, but signs of low self-esteem, body image distress, and strong peer influence, which are common in early adolescence.
Spending excessive time on skin care, avoiding sunlight, negative self-talk, and hitting herself are warning signs that her self-worth is getting linked to appearance.
This does not automatically go away with age if the belief “fair skin = value” continues.
It is treatable, especially when addressed early.
With timely emotional support, this does not have to affect her future. Early intervention can prevent long-term body image and self-esteem issues.
Next Steps
Avoid correcting or dismissing her feelings; instead, validate emotions without reinforcing the belief about complexion.
Reduce appearance-focused talk at home (comments about fairness, beauty, comparison).
Encourage activities that build confidence, skills, and identity beyond looks.
Health Tips
A few sessions with a psychologist can help challenge these beliefs, address peer pressure, and build healthy self-image.
Has she gone through any bad experience due to her skin complication? According to your question, I think she has or she is going through till date. It can affect most of us. Please consult a psychologist or therapist so that it doesn't turn into any bigger issue.
For the time being, please talk to her without being non judgemental, protect her publicly from any judgemental comments. She needs your support most.
This is extremely normal...Simple counselling sessions and mind programming will definitely help her contact Dr Ashish Jain ...... www dot esamadhaan dot com or call us at seven two eight nine 0 seven 0 six 0 three
Next Steps
contact and have counselling
Health Tips
counselling and mind programing will cure this issue without medicines ......
Hi
this is more than a normal teenage phase. Worrying about looks is common at 13, but spending hours on skincare, blocking sunlight, harsh self-talk, and self-slapping are red flags of body image distress and low self-worth, worsened by peer pressure and color bias. The fact that her complexion has improved but her thoughts haven’t shows the issue lies in her thinking pattern, not her skin.
This does not always go away on its own with age. If left unaddressed, it can turn into long-term confidence issues, anxiety, or depression. Permanent change comes from early psychological support helping her challenge these beliefs, reduce self-punishment, and build self-acceptance in a safe way. The earlier this is addressed, the easier and faster it is to resolve. Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
Hi...You need to first figure out where is it stemming from? Is it her peer group, some videos/games/drama/series she is watching online or someone at home who cares too much about their skin/complexion. At this age of puberty, her body image is of serious concern for her as it defines her social position in her peer group. In this age attraction between opposite gender starts to happen and mix groups of both genders and couples start to form. Initially it may or may not be of romantic nature but an affiliation and admiration from the opposite gender starts to become relevant and unfortunately physical attributes like skin color, facial features, height, built, figure, etc. start playing role in their group dynamics. You need to understand that in "her society", skin color/complexion is a prized possession that is valued by everyone, including her own gender. You need to address it at that level. You need to help her develop some other attribute that is valued more or atleast can compensate for the gap she is struggling with. This is important to deliver without making her feel that she is in anyway lacking in her physical appearance. Avoid saying things like, "it doesn't matter or being good at heart matters more", etc. Such typical statements may annoy her more because they stand false in the reality test of her peer group. Our job as a therapist in such cases is to help that adolescent build their self image & self worth, beyond these physical/ material parameters that can be ruined or taken away easily. Once they are able to develop their personality without these parameters, they become well adjusted, self-reliant, and overtime develop a higher sense of self-esteem.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Parent/ Child Counselling is required.
Hello,
Thank you for sharing your concern here. As a mother your dilemma about your daughter is understandable.
The complexion complex your daughter is grappling with is beyond her skin and has affected her self esteem.
She has normalized certain beauty standards which could be due to peer pressure, social media exposure and the need to be accepted.
The age that she is in, is about trying to find your identity and make a mark, where appearance plays a significant role.
The better part is that she can overcome this mindset.
Counseling sessions can help address the underlying cause at the root level.
It can help her build a strong foundation of embracing her uniqueness and building her authentic personality with her strength in her talent and potential.
You can consult for further professional guidance.
I wish you and your daughter All the Best.
Happy Healthy Living!
Hi. Thankyou for sharing your concern. Peer pressure at this age is quite common but if it starts affecting daily behavior and self esteem of the child, that’s where interventions are required. What may help is giving her affirmations, showing her some stories on the related topic. Sharing life examples would help her understand that ones identity and talent are not defines by skin complexion. Be a friend to her and take it easy with small steps instead of firmly imposing actions on her.
Next Steps
Do these daily collective actions with family. If it still persists, you can get in touch with me through Practo.
Share with teachers as well since they are an integral part of the childs development for some part of the day. Privacy should be maintained. She shouldn’t feel that she is being discussed because she may get more conscious. You need to remain steady and emotionally calm in the process in front of her.
This appears to be body image distress driven by peer pressure, not a true skin problem.
Spending hours on remedies and avoiding sunlight suggests anxiety and preoccupation.
Self-slapping and negative self-talk are warning signs that need attention.
Do not reassure only about complexion; address self-worth and confidence.
Limit mirror checking and skincare time gradually.
Encourage healthy sunlight, outdoor activities, and balanced routines.
Avoid color-based comments at home, even positively.
Have open, non-judgmental conversations about peer pressure.
School counseling or a child psychologist can help early.
With timely support, this is reversible and not permanent.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
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