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Anxiety in how you adress someone?
I have spent a lot of time in thinking about how i adress someone. This is at work and it causes a lot of anxiety. Its very confusing for me. This issue is there for me for few years. Its causing me anxiety. I think i want to please everyone without offending anyone...Anyone heard of this kind off issue? Our office work culture is kindoff mix between indian and western...so its confusing...Indian work culture is a age based culture...like a younger person adressess a elder person in plural...and a elder person adresses a younger in singular...but a western culture is a mutually respectful...Now we are a cross of east and west and some confusion is there in how we adress someone. I think a normal person wouldnt focus so much on this...
Answers (9)
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Hi. I think being an Indian your mistakes won't be considered. Do follow your own culture that you have inherited. Also if you're working in India follow own cultural values, westerners would find a scope to know us
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Hi
You are confused about how to address someone in the workplace and it is making you feel anxious. You are particular about respecting everyone in the workplace. It is even more confusing when there is a mix of Indian and western culture. It is important to remember that it is okay to feel confused and anxious about how to address people. It is also important to not feel too anxious about it. It will be good if you can consult a psychologist and talk about how you feel.
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Consult a psychologist.
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Feel free to contact me for therapy session.
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Ms. Divya Bhatia
Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Bangalore
"Hey! Thank you for reaching out to me with your concerns. I understand how difficult it must be to exist in a cross-cultural work space and make sure you do not offend someone unintentionally.
This issue is quite specific to 'learning a social norm'. You can prevent this anxiety by getting well informed about the kinds of greetings preferred by different people. You can do this by reading different blogs on the internet, noticing how your co-workers address each other, or simply ask the other person how they would like to be addressed, or what are their prederred pronouns, etc.
You mentioned being anxious of pleasing everyone. I would like you to know that every time you feel this way, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and other people's reaction is NOT in your control. So you must try to let go. Yes, it is easier said than done, but it's improtant to remind yourself that always.
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Reflect on your thoughts
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If things still feel overwhelming, it would be advisable to talk to a therapist.
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Ms. Komal Singh Parihar
Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
Hello there
I can understand what you might be feeling. As you mentioned, you want to please everyone without anyone being offended. Well, it is not possible to make everyone happy. And I can understand that in office, it becomes important to cater to the needs of others.
In your case, your work environment is a mixture of both the cultures. So it might be more confusing for you. You should consult a therapist or a psychologist for some further assistance.
You can also contact me. I will help you towards finding your solutions. Let's discuss about your issues in details for you to get your solutions.
Don't worry, I know that office culture is more delicate than personal life. You just take care, stay safe, and strong. Everything will be fine. You got this!!
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... Your issues of anxiety to address someone at work and the related fear of offending someone is primarily rooted in your childhood. A desperate need to satisfy an early childhood care giver (parents/grandparents/role model) consciously/subconsciously/unconsciously in order to feel worthy.
This need proper surfacing of the repressed issues and treatment through therapeutic approaches/techniques like CBT, CCT, Psychoanalysis, Existentialist Approach.
The duality of expectations of Western vs Indian Culture at work is more environmental and may have some influence to your anxiety triggers but I am sure you would be experiencing anxiety from before as well.
In Western culture they don't consider it right to make someone feel conscious about their age because they believe that age is just a number and not a criteria for knowledge, talent, or competence.
Whereas in Indian Culture it is believed that age is something which should be respected as they possess knowledge beyond books, talent which is developed with learning, and competence which is rooted in real world rules and expectations and not in the absolute/ idealistic ones.
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Consult a Psychologist and start taking Counselling Sessions
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Mr. Vijay Kumar
Psychologist
30 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
With no intension whatsoever to fix that label onto your condition and since you asked if anyone has heard of the type of issues that you are mentioning about, I would suggest you to read about 'Dependent Personality Disorder'. On the anxiety that you are getting thinking about how you should address a coworker, I would suggest you to check it out from a helpful old employee of your organisation or from your HR colleague who will be able to let you know more about your organisational culture and norms.
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
As you have observed and analysed, there is a difference etween the east and thr west culture..
Beyond that, it is your opinion in pleasing others is causing the Anxiety..
Maybe for the above reason, you can approach a psychological Counselor to overcome this issue..
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You can reach me by using the link given below for more details :-
https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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Ms. Nishita Raut
Clinical Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Mumbai
It looks like you are very respectful towards the differences that you notice and that makes you culturally competent. If you feel this anxiety outside of your office as well when you meet new people then it can be social phobia but if it’s just your office then it’s probably because you want to perform well and have a good reputation in office.
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If it creates a significant amount of distress then you can consider going to a therapist
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