Anxiety attack. Is very troubling.

I was very passionate to study biology.But i was forced to join Engineering.Im working.Im unsatisfied.I am not able to learn till my capacity.I was a brilliant student.Now, Im a below average performer.I tried to learn new  skills.But I tend to loose interest & eventually forget everything I have learnt.I feel like Im lost.My family condition is very poor.I definitely want to help them.But lack of interest is not allowing me to grow.I feel helpless.If anyone talks about career,growth I get upset, depressed.I burst out.I am insecure & jealous of people who are growing.At this stage, only my boyfriend is supporting me to deal with my depression.I can't even tell my family about my condition.They want me do what they want.I have turned into a rebel.I don't like what I am now.I can't change what happened.I don't want to live with this, because this is making me feel like a failure.i want change in my life.I want to mbbs again.but expenses are very high.everything is very troubling.