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Anxiety and stammering making life hell
I got a job 4 months back and have been struggling with severe stress, anxiety, grief, and poor sleep since my mother's death a few months ago. Recently, I attended my first review meeting where I was questioned extensively about schemes from 2020-2024, many of which were implemented before I joined. I had not received adequate training or handover regarding these old schemes and was unable to answer several questions. I was made to stand up and repeatedly questioned in front of everyone, which felt humiliating. I have a tendency to stammer when anxious, and the pressure made it difficult for me to explain myself properly so I kept quiet. Since then, I have been replaying the incident constantly, feeling ashamed, angry, and worried about future reviews. I wake up multiple times at night thinking about work and struggle to focus on my future or daily life. I need help managing anxiety, grief, confidence, and communication under pressure. This job is a misfit for me, I want to get out.
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Hi,
It sounds like you're going through a very difficult time, coping with intense grief, stress, anxiety, and feelings of humiliation from the recent work experience. These emotions can significantly impact your confidence, sleep, and ability to communicate under pressure. Itâs important to seek support from a mental health professional to help you process grief, develop coping strategies for anxiety, and build confidence in your communication skills. Additionally, consider talking to a trusted mentor or supervisor at work about your feelings and challenges; they may offer support or accommodations. If your current job feels like a poor fit, exploring options for a role better aligned with your skills and emotional well-being could also be beneficial for your overall health and future happiness.
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It seems to be post traumatic psychological experience leading to anxiety and other emotional issues.
It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated and can affect your personal and social life.
It needs to be treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
You need an expert psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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I can understand how overwhelming this situation must be for you. You are not dealing with just a difficult review meeting—you are simultaneously coping with grief after the loss of your mother, adjusting to a new job, sleep difficulties, anxiety, and communication pressure. Any one of these challenges can be difficult on its own; facing all of them together can significantly affect confidence and emotional well-being.
From what you've described, it seems that being questioned about schemes that were implemented before you joined, without adequate training or handover, left you feeling unprepared and exposed. Being asked to stand and answer questions publicly would be stressful for most people, especially when already carrying emotional exhaustion and grief. The fact that you became anxious and struggled to communicate under pressure does not mean you are incompetent—it reflects the impact of stress on your ability to think and respond in the moment.
Next Steps
Focus first on stabilizing your mental and emotional health rather than making an immediate career decision.
Address your grief, sleep difficulties, and anxiety, as these can significantly affect work performance and confidence.
Prepare for future reviews by documenting what information was and was not handed over to you, and identifying areas where you need training.
Practice structured responses and communication strategies to manage anxiety during meetings.
Consider professional counselling to work on grief, workplace anxiety, confidence, and stress management.
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Avoid replaying the meeting repeatedly in your mind. This is a common anxiety response but usually increases distress rather than solving the problem.
Separate the event from your self-worth. One difficult meeting does not define your competence or future.
Write down the facts of the incident rather than the fears associated with it.
Focus on what is within your control: learning, preparation, communication, and emotional recovery.
Maintain regular sleep, meals, and physical activity as much as possible.
Important:
Try not to make a major decision about resigning or changing careers while you are in a state of acute stress, grief, and sleep deprivation. When emotions are highly activated, situations can appear more hopeless than they actually are. It is often better to regain some emotional stability first and then evaluate whether the job is genuinely a misfit or whether the current distress is being amplified by recent life events.
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Thank you for sharing this. What you are carrying right now is genuinely a lot — grief, a new job, inadequate handover, and then a public experience that felt humiliating. Any one of these alone would be hard. Together, they make complete sense as a source of the stress, sleep disruption, and self-doubt you are describing.
The review meeting sounds particularly painful. Being questioned about schemes that predate your joining, without proper training or handover, was not a fair situation to be placed in. The fact that anxiety made it harder to speak in that moment does not reflect your competence — it reflects how your nervous system responds to feeling cornered and unprepared. That is a very human response.
The way you keep replaying the incident, the broken sleep, the difficulty focusing — these are signs that your mind is working overtime trying to process something distressing. It needs support, not more pressure.
Given everything you have named — grief, anxiety, confidence, and communication under stress — working with a counselling psychologist can help you address each of these in a structured, supported way. You do not have to figure this out alone.
Take care of yourself.
Dr. Namita Ranjan (PhD)
Counselling Psychologist
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Hi, Consult a psychologist
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It sounds like you are carrying the burden of grief, anxiety, poor sleep, and workplace stress all at once. The difficulties you faced in the review meeting do not reflect your true abilities, especially when you were not provided adequate training. Anxiety can significantly affect communication and increase stammering under pressure. Be kind to yourself, focus on managing stress and sleep, and consider professional counselling support to work through grief, confidence, and anxiety. With the right support, these challenges can improve over time.
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Counseling will help you in overcoming challenge
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What you experienced sounds deeply distressing, especially while coping with grief, poor sleep, and the pressures of a new job. Being questioned publicly about matters you were not adequately trained on would be challenging for anyone, and it is understandable that the incident continues to affect your confidence and anxiety levels.
Next Steps
Since these difficulties are now impacting your sleep, concentration, emotional wellbeing, and daily functioning, I would strongly encourage you to seek support from a psychologist. Professional help can assist you in processing both your grief and workplace stress, while helping you develop healthier coping strategies and regain confidence in yourself.
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Hello,
I understand how distressing this situation is for you and what you’ve been holding silently for a long time.
Therapy can help you overcome anxiety and stress
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Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need support. You don’t have to deal with this alone
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Take care
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Ms. Pooja Bhargava
Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Delhi
What you experienced sounds very distressing especially while coping with grief and anxiety. Working with a psychologist on anxiety, confidence and communication skills can help you process the incident and feel more prepared for future situations.
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Ms. Sheetal Kusumbe
Counselling Psychologist
21 yrs exp
Thane
Hello,
Thank you for sharing your concern here.
The impact the judgement had on you in the review situation is understandable.
You are already navigating a void in your life and the struggle to stay relevant is overwhelming.
The better part is that you can progressive heal and restore harmony in your life.
Counseling sessions can help you express yourself, understand the cause of your speech concerns and establish a foundation of a balanced mental health state.
You can consult for further professional guidance.
I wish you holistic wellness.
Happy Healthy Living!
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