Anger and sad. I blackmail his wife?

I understand your predicament and would like to make a few suggestions that could help. Rather than looking for a quick-fix to deal with what you are feeling on the surface, I want you to look at what is really disturbing you, calling for your attention and needs to be addressed. You committed yourself to a relationship, were honest and truthful and this shows the kind of person you are. Our character, the values that we stand for, come to the light especially during challenging times rather than when everything is going fine, in our favor. It is how we respond to the challenges that we encounter as we go through life that shows us who we truly are and what truly matters to us. Yes, you don't deserve this at all. It takes extraordinary courage to remain truthful, honest, to be a person of integrity and to persevere, to keep going forward in the face of disappointment and unfair treatment. This is a choice all of us have but few of us go for. When you are in a healthy, calm and composed mental state, you will have the clarity to make the right choices and decisions. With awareness of how the mind works and how thoughts are generated, you will be able to process them better. You are capable of doing this and can successfully deal with them. Kindly read what follows : Today the mind is fixated on something. Tomorrow it might be on another topic/event/person. The nature of the Mind, which in simple terms we experience as thoughts, is such that, it will keep shifting its focus from one object/topic/event to another. Ii always needs something to hold on to. Another important characteristic of the Mind is this - You will either have thoughts about the past or the future. This will keep alternating. Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that the Mind and 'Now' can never coexist. The Mind has 3 states in general. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states will keep alternating. Having understood the nature of the mind, the first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. Having negative thoughts is something that plagues everybody from time to time. Trust me, even if everything was perfect, we may still find some shortcomings somewhere and brood about it. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts are healthy enough to be acted upon. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by thoughts, just bring your focus back to your breath and take a few relaxing breaths. You will automatically be able to focus on the task at hand and do what is required. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs will be replayed to you as thoughts. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of company you keep ( "You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with" ) Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of the kind of feedback you received while growing up - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. You may set aside time to reflect on the following : Where would I like to see myself ten years from now? What should I do today to reach there ten years from now? What would I do if I knew I wouldn't fail? What would I do if I weren't afraid? No matter how impossible the answers might seem, I want you to know that you can and will make them possible. Take the first step. The rest will follow. A beautiful future awaits you. Take ownership of every moment, take responsibility for it and confidently work towards your dreams and aspirations. One day you will thank these dark moments for being the fuel for your success. Please set aside time for exercise daily and make sure you eat healthy every time. Here is a breathing exercise that will help you relax better : Do this once you have finished with your tasks for the day : Inhale slowly to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. Gently massage the back of your neck and the base of the skull when you lie down to rest. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution. Have faith in yourself. You are capable of dealing with this. You are going to do just fine. Take care.