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Always overthinking and underconfident
Firstly, I've symptoms of ocds, then I'm so underconfident these days (earlier, I wasn't) that I can't meet ppl or look into their eyes. I end up acting awkward and make weird expressions with a very stiff and vague body language. Cannot accept any praise, I feel like everybody is lying and I'm not good enough. I feel any damn person is way better than me and I don't know anything. I also get fast heartbeat very quickly. I have anxious thoughts, the best way to explain is that I never feel safe like I used to as a kid. I also overthink about life and it's nature. I'm just scared and very underconfident, I was judged in my school..maybe bec of that..idk there are many layers to it but can somebody just give me some advice. Thank you so much
Answers (23)
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Thank you for expressing your feelings so honestly. You’re going through a lot inside, and that alone shows how strong you really are — even if you don’t feel that way right now.
What you’re describing — difficulty making eye contact, feeling judged, heartbeat racing, overthinking, not accepting praise — are often signs that your mind is trying too hard to protect you from being hurt again.
Somewhere in the past:
You were judged
You felt compared
You started believing others are better
You stopped feeling safe being yourself
Your mind learned a survival rule:
“If I shrink myself, no one can hurt me.”
But now that rule is holding you back.
People who think they are “not good enough” are usually the ones who care the most, try the hardest, and feel the deepest. That sensitivity is not your weakness — it’s your superpower. You just need to learn how to use it for yourself instead of against yourself.
Small mindset shifts that help:
Instead of “They will judge me”
Try: “They are too busy thinking about themselves.”
Instead of “Everyone is better than me”
Try: “Everyone is different, including me.”
Instead of “I don’t feel safe”
Try: “I can create my own safety, slowly.”
Confidence is not loudness.
It is allowing yourself to exist without apology.
A few practical steps:
Take one tiny social step every day — even a smile counts.
Accept compliments with just one word: “Thank you.”
Keep a journal of moments you handled well.
Breathe slowly when your heart races — your body listens to your breath.
Remind yourself daily: “I have survived everything so far.”
And that’s true — look at you still fighting.
What you must remember
You are not “less than” anyone.
You are becoming someone new.
Growth feels scary because your old fears don’t want to let you go.
But you are already stronger than the fear you feel.
Step by step — not to impress the world,
but to meet the version of you that you’re capable of becoming.
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Hello
It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of anxiety, self-doubt, and old hurt for a long time, and it’s starting to affect how you see yourself and how you interact with others. Feeling unable to make eye contact, doubting every compliment, getting quick heartbeats, or feeling “not good enough” are common signs that your mind is stuck in a pattern of fear and overthinking—not that there is something wrong with who you are. These patterns often come from past experiences where you felt judged or unsafe, and they can be changed with the right support. Talking to a psychologist can help you understand why you feel this way, learn how to calm your anxiety, and slowly rebuild your confidence so you can feel comfortable in your own skin again. You truly don’t have to deal with all of this on your own.
Next Steps
consult a psychologist
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Thank you for expressing yourself so clearly. The experiences you mentioned — low confidence, difficulty making eye contact, anxious thoughts, fast heartbeat, overthinking, and feeling “not good enough” — are often signs that your mind has been under emotional stress for a long time. These patterns can develop when someone has faced judgment, pressure, or repeated self-doubt in the past.
It’s important to know that these reactions do not mean something is “wrong” with you. They simply show that your nervous system is in a heightened state of anxiety, and with the right guidance, these patterns can be understood and managed. Many people with similar concerns show significant improvement with supportive therapy and structured coping techniques.
Next Steps
You may benefit from exploring the roots of these feelings, understanding your triggers, and learning grounding and confidence-building techniques.
If these difficulties are affecting your daily functioning, consider booking a counseling session so a professional can help you work through these experiences in a safe and structured manner.
Health Tips
Practice slow breathing, grounding exercises, and gentle self-compassion. Avoid harsh self-judgment. If your anxiety becomes overwhelming or persistent, make sure to seek timely psychological support.
Book my counseling sessions.
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Hereâs a completely reworded version â still warm, validating, and framed from a psychologistâs perspective:
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It sounds like social situations have started to feel quite heavy for you, and thatâs completely understandable. When someone has had experiences in the past where they felt judged or misunderstood â especially during school years â the body and mind learn to stay on alert. So the things youâre describing now arenât flaws; theyâre responses shaped by earlier environments that didnât feel safe.
The racing heart, the constant analysis of what others might think, the worry about not measuring up, and even the discomfort when you receive appreciation â these are all signs of social anxiety and deeper self-worth injuries. They reflect what youâve been through, not who you are.
The encouraging part is that there is a lot we can work on. Psychological therapy can give you a space to understand these reactions with compassion, challenge the old narratives that still affect you, and gradually build a more secure sense of self.
Next Steps
Approaches like ACT, CBT and Mindfulness really helps. You might wish to book therapy sessions with therapists who work on these therapies like myself.
Health Tips
Youâre not alone in this, and with steady support, these patterns can shift. Take gentle care of yourself.
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It sounds like you are going through a really tough time, and it takes immense courage to share what you're experiencing—the constant overthinking, the feelings of being judged, the fast heartbeats, and that deep sense of being "unsafe." Please know that what you are feeling is real, and it makes complete sense that you are feeling overwhelmed, unsure, and disconnected from your old self right now.
Counselling is a space built just for you, designed to gently guide you back to feeling safe and confident within yourself. It is an opportunity to learn the tools you need to manage anxiety, trust yourself, and rediscover that sense of safety and confidence you deserve.
Next Steps
try counselling
Health Tips
consult
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Hi,
What you’re experiencing sounds like anxiety mixed with low self-esteem, often caused by past experiences of being judged. This can make social situations feel unsafe and increase overthinking, self-doubt, and physical symptoms like a fast heartbeat. The good news is that these feelings are treatable. A psychologist can help you understand the roots of this anxiety and build confidence gradually.
Next Steps
Feel free to take a session with a psychologist
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Hi,
All of what you mentioned is making social situations feel overwhelming. Feeling judged in the past, like in school, can strongly affect how safe and confident you feel now, so your reactions actually make sense in the context of your experiences. The fast heartbeat, overthinking, fear of not being “good enough,” and difficulty accepting praise are all common signs of social anxiety and self-esteem wounds, not a sign that something is wrong with you as a person.
The good news is that these patterns are very treatable. Working with a psychologist can help you unpack the layers, challenge negative beliefs, and slowly rebuild confidence. Therapies like CBT and self-esteem-focused work are especially effective. Simple steps like grounding exercises, slowing your breathing when anxious, and practicing small safe social interactions can also help you feel more in control. Take care
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It seems that you are undergoing an anxiety disorder. It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated.
It needs to be treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
You need an expert Psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Hi,
It sounds like you're going through a difficult period with feelings of anxiety, low self-confidence, and negative thoughts about yourself, which can be overwhelming and impact your daily life. These feelings may be linked to underlying issues such as OCD symptoms, social anxiety, or self-esteem struggles, possibly rooted in past experiences of judgment. The first step is to acknowledge your feelings and understand that you're not aloneâmany people face similar challenges. Seeking support from a mental health professional, like a therapist or counselor, can be incredibly helpful in exploring these layers, managing anxiety, and building confidence. They can provide strategies to cope with anxious thoughts, improve self-esteem, and work through past experiences. Additionally, practicing self-compassion, gradually challenging negative beliefs about yourself, and engaging in activities that make you feel safe and capable can help in the healing process. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and with patience and support, things can improve.
Next Steps
Consult
Health Tips
seek help
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Hi, consult a psychologist
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Kindly reach out for sessions
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Consider taking counseling and therapy sessions. You can contact me at nine eight seven one four five six eight four seven.
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Hi
What makes u think u have OCD? Kindly do not self diagnose. Seek an evaluation session with a clinical psychologist to help u diagnose your symptoms.
It may also be possible that u are having depression or anxiety, considering the symptoms u have mentioned. However once again i want to reiterate that unless a thorough evaluation is taken one actually cannot tell u what exactly is going on with u.
Next Steps
-Seek consultation immediately from a clinical psychologist to help u understand your symptoms better. Once that clarity is gained treatment can be given
Health Tips
-Leaving these symptoms untreated may worsen them over time
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First things, many people have OC trait which doesn't mean they have the disorder. According to the information available, I can understand there is a lot you are holding and carrying within you. May be due to your experience in school, or some other predisposition and can be an amalgamation of circumstances.
Next Steps
Please consult a psychologist here or anywhere you want. You need to speak up freely and proper therapeutic intervention will make you feel better.
Health Tips
This is curable. All you need to do is reaching out to a professional.
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You don’t need to suddenly become confident. Start with small goals—look at someone’s eyes for 1–2 seconds, greet one person a day, or practice posture in private. Confidence returns through small repeated wins.
Next Steps
therapy session can help you unlearn the old beliefs created in childhood and rebuild healthier ones.
Health Tips
consult
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Hi
It sounds like your mind has been stuck in a constant state of alert, so even normal situations feel heavy and unsafe.
Your brain is trying to protect you.
None of this means you’re not capable or that you’ve changed permanently. It just means you’ve been overwhelmed for too long and your mind has shifted into a better be careful mode. With the right help, you can slowly retrain your thoughts, calm your body, and rebuild that lost sense of safety. You don’t have to figure this alone, and what you’re feeling is far more common than you think. If you want, I can guide you on the exact first steps to start feeling stable and confident again.
Next Steps
Connect on nine two six six seven two six zero six five
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Ms. Swati Agarwal
Clinical Psychologist
7 yrs exp
Kolkata
Thank you for describing your experience so openly. The mix of symptoms you mentioned—intrusive thoughts, overthinking, low confidence, difficulty with eye contact, fear of judgment, fast heartbeat, and the sense of not feeling “safe” in your body—points toward anxiety with elements of social anxiety and self-esteem difficulty.
These patterns often develop when someone has faced criticism, judgment, or emotional pressure earlier in life, and over time the mind becomes hyper-alert to how others see you. This can also make your body feel tense, awkward, or disconnected in social situations.
The good news is that these symptoms are highly treatable with therapy focused on anxiety, self-worth, and rebuilding a sense of internal safety.
Next Steps
Consult a clinical psychologist to begin structured therapy (CBT or trauma-informed work) to understand the roots of fear, rebuild confidence, and reduce obsessive thoughts.
Learn specific tools for managing social anxiety—like graded exposure, thought reframing, and relaxation training.
If intrusive thoughts or physical symptoms are severe, consider a psychiatric evaluation alongside therapy.
Health Tips
Don’t label your reactions as weakness; they are learned responses to past experiences and can change with support.
Try grounding practices (slow breathing, feet-on-floor technique) when the heartbeat becomes fast.
Start with small, low-pressure social interactions to rebuild comfort gradually.
Limit overthinking spirals by writing thoughts down—this helps reduce their intensity.
Healing your sense of safety takes time, but consistent therapy leads to significant improvement.
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Ms. Sahaj Kang
Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Delhi
When did this start? Have you been diagnosed with symptoms of OCD or is it self-diagnosed? What you describe can be easily worked upon using CBT - please consult.
Next Steps
consult
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi...You are experiencing low self-esteem issues and trust issues. When you go deep in the bottom of such issues, you find a certain kind of parenting, some kind of trauma, and various triggers in your present environment. Number of young adults, go through such a phase in their late teens or early 20's which eventually passes providing them some insights, learnings, and memories. In some, case they may get entangled in all this and loose sight of their immediate goals & priorities-- academically, emotionally, and socially. If you think you're in this phase you may seek professional help to overcome and develop better understanding of your self, people, and your world at large. This requires a therapeutic setting where you can not only vent out your fears, issues, struggles, but also find ways to overcome them in the real world. You need support, guidance, and better understanding of your own deeper issues to deal with this predicament in your life.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
Interpersonal Guidance and Career Counselling is required. CBT may be used for specific cognitive and behavioural recovery.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Mr. Fr Dr John Zachariah
Counselling Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Ernakulam
Consult a psychologist or psychotherapist
Next Steps
for malayalam consultation 858985*3765
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Ms. Ligi R Nair
Counselling Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Bangalore
Thank you for sharing this. What you’re describing sounds really overwhelming, and it makes sense that you’re feeling anxious, unsure, and disconnected from your old confidence. These symptoms often happen when the mind has been in “threat mode” for a long time — especially after judgment or stress. It affects eye contact, body language, self-esteem, and creates constant overthinking.
The good news is: nothing here is permanent or “wrong” with you. These are treatable anxiety and self-worth patterns that can improve with small steps and support.
What can help:
1. Calm your body first.
Try slow breathing — inhale 4 seconds, exhale 6 seconds — for 2 minutes daily.
2. Start tiny social steps.
Make brief eye contact for 1–2 seconds, or say one small sentence. Tiny wins matter.
3. Be gentle with self-criticism.
Shift thoughts like “I’m not good enough” to “I’m learning; perfection isn’t required.”
4. Ground yourself when you feel unsafe.
Notice 5 things around you, slow your breathing, tell yourself “I’m safe right now.”
5. Consider therapy if possible.
Everything you mentioned is treatable with the right support.
Next Steps
contact me
Health Tips
You’re not less than anyone. You’re not broken. You’re just overwhelmed — and that can change.
If you want, tell me which part affects you most, and I can guide you further.
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Ms. Neha Sachdev
Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi
What you’re dealing with is self belief issues. Low Self belief/ self esteem causes low confidence.
What you say to yourself and how u see yourself is self esteem. U are also going through the thoughts of being judged. It’s quite stressful when you constantly think that what will people think if I act a certain way.
It’s not your mistake. Society is judgemental.
We need to cope/ mange these thoughts like loneliness, sadness, fear of losing people around you.
Happy to help
Contact me at eight three six eight zero five three seven one zero
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