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About marital relationship
I waited 2 yrs to marry the love of my life of as his mother didn't accept and i had to wait for an year and later his father expired so one more year..by that time i turned 28,there was lot of pressure from everyone on me to get married.My parents were very supportive initially as they knew that i have enough sense to choose right person but as they saw this delay, they were In panic and used to tell that it's time to move on as there is no idea when he would marry..but I used to convince that I I would wait.. Finally, his mother accepted,we got married, I must say he is the best husband,he takes lot of care .One random day after marriage, as I was using his phone, I found out that in those 2 yrs he searched matrimony sites, tried to communicate with them.I asked him,he said due to situations he had to do it. I love him,he is very gud at heart but sometimes when I remember this tears roll down my eyes as how could someone even think of marrying others when i trusted him so much..
Answers (8)
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You need to talk to him and get sorted. The reason might be different.
You can take counseling sessions to improve your decision making skills.
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you can contact me through online appointment for further assistance
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You waited for a long time.. dedicated to your love,you are sad that he was looking out for an alternative during that period.
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Talk to him,clarify it..communicate.
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you can contact me for further counseling at nine double four nine eight two one eight six two.
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You seem to be perplexed and disappointed by your husband's behavior. Well forgive and forget., isnt easy. You need some professional help. Since you are telugu speaking can connect to me on my profile on practo consult do the needful.
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Hi. I'm sorry. Forgive him. Destiny has taken your side. He may be not so mature like you are. In this relation you are the mature partner. Don't see past or ask questions about it. In present day you have got him. That's it. Give freedom and he will be all yours. That's the trick!! Give a person choices. You yourself also see choices in adverse contexts. Dont take the path of revange or hurting him back. Reciprocate positive qualities.
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CBT
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iron will with flexible thinking
independent
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Quite natural for someone who has invested so much in one relation but quite often we forget or cannot justify that the person we love so much has his/her own perspective of life and act according to a situation. Your husband is a nice human who loves you and also his mother probably when situation was adverse plus he lost his father he might have been extremely low and did not want to hurt his mother in any way.but the best part now is you two are together as you wanted.
Let bygone be bygone, you are with your right person try to be happy.let the past be a closed chapter and plan for a beautiful future.
It might be tough for you to accept but forgive him for your peace.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... Pls talk to him about this. Find a good time and place to sit him down with you and talk. You need to communicate to him that how much this matters to you and how you were handling your parental pressure while this delay. Learn from him if he was actually thinking/searching for someone else or it was just a random act to satisfy his parents that he is not making this decision to marry you without thinking about anything. People use various methods to convince their parents that they are choosing a partner rationally and not just emotionally. Later on as parents you will also want your childrens to choose wisely when it comes to marriage. The issues may be more deep between both of you so it is better to undergo Counselling, individually or as a couple. It is always better to address such issues in the beginning itself otherwise they can take shape of big heartbreaks later on.
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Start taking Counselling Sessions from a Psychologist
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: Nine Six Seven One Three Zero Three One Three Four (whatsapp)
Website:https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Mr. Vijay Kumar
Psychologist
30 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
We tend to seek perfection in our close relationships. We should, of course. But practical living is another side of our existence. We tend to get disappointed when the perfection of our close, intimate relationship(s) get into the domain of suspecion.
You love him. Good! Yet you are unable to accept that he opted to become practical to keep options open and search matrimonial websites at a time when delays were taking place in your marriage. Yet he married you. But for you the hurt continues.
Each one in any close relationship is an individual. Unless you allow individual freedom, relationships will come under stress. Think of it, - aren't you trying to confirm that he does not do things that you don't like? Aren't you building up reasons to be unhappy by magnifying a past incident of your dislike?
The time ahead is for both of you to enjoy. Leave the past behind and find peace and joy ahead. If you find it difficult to do it on your own, please seek help from a psychologist.
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Please consult a psychologist if necessary.
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Ms. Nishita Raut
Clinical Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Mumbai
Your trust was broken by your partner as there wasn’t enough communication about the issue. You need to start rebuilding your trust but, to do that you might have to start with forgiveness.
You are holding on to the past. Think about what you need right now to move on and communicate that with your husband. Since he is so understanding and good at heart, I am sure you two will be able to work it out together.
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Work on what will help you forgive
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