Depression. Misunderstood hate myself!

Listen dear, do you know the best quality of time? "It passes on" Weather its good or bad it goes away. Balance of nature is very important. Not everything can be in your favour. If you kill your self then there will be nothing left for you. Life goes on for others. Your parents , relatives, friends will cry for a few days may be for a month after that everyone carries on with their life. What will u gain out of this? If you want to die to get rid of the pain then thats also very foolish as you won't be there to know if the pain has gone or not. Try to understand what i am saying. There is a solution to everything. And since you have reached out here is a very obvious sign that you want to deal with your problems and not kill your self. So get rid of the thought of suicide. When it comes to education see everyone can not be first or second there others in the class also there are backbenchers in the class as well. You just have to see that whatever they are teaching in the class you understand that and you are able to produce in the exam no one is saying you to top the class but just to bring good marks. Even if you top the class in 12 you will again have to get through qualifying exams to enter a college. The struggle is lifetime. After college u struggle for job. You are very young and what seems to be trouble to you will go away in sometime. Whatever bothers you, stand up to it and say no what feels wrong. Talk openly to your mother.

consult a psychiatrist